Ode to RainMan

Dear Terps,
Do you have any idea why my life is the way it is? I've been pondering this. I'm sure it's my fault/responsibility, but why can't all my mistakes be consequence free? Is that so much to ask?
I spent the weekend mainly by myslef. (I love it when I have a typo on this word...MYSLEF. It's such a great word. I also love a typo on the word student...= STUDNET.) Just the baby and me. Mr. Confusia packed his bag Saturday and left for the fishing hole. I wasn't sure if he was going to come back or not, but he did. He brought with him two small largemouth Bass. I think I'm the only person anywhere who has a 46 gallon aquarium in the living room full of minnows, and two Bass. Some people prefer goldfish or tetras. I've got a mini lake. What the ? The minnows are not happy about the Bass additions. They were already schooling, but now they're completely obsessive about it. Who could blame them? One of the bass sucked up a minnow faster than the speed of light last night. The other minnows were looking at each other, going, "Holy Shit! Did you see that? Did you see what that thing did to Dave??" I think one of them had a heart attack last night because when I woke up this morning, one of them was belly up. Meanwhile, the bass are trying to jump out of the aquarium. They're only about 6 or seven inches long, and it's a big aquarium, but their whole world is messed up. One of them, apart from sucking up minnows, looks out of the aquarium at my bookshelf. I'm afraid when I get home, he'll be sitting on the couch with a pair of glasses on, reading Harry Potter. Then again, he also looked very interested in Lord of the Rings, so we'll see which one he decides to go with. All in all, it makes me glad that the goldfish died before becoming bass food. Our biggest goldfish, Rainman, died just last week. We called him Rainman due to his OCD habit of swimming up one corner, down the other, then zooming to the other side of the tank, and back again. He did this endlessly. Mr. Confusia would say, "There are definitely, def...definitely four corners." RIP Rainman.
I also did a crap load of housecleaning this week. Nothing says "Awesome Weekend." like 8 loads of laundry, and mopping the kitchen floor. I did get a new pair of jeans that fit so well. That's exciting. I also started re-reading The World According to Garp. Excellent novel. The characters in that book are outstanding.
I've got a kid-free day today. Thank you. I'm so happy. I'm also happy because I had angel hair pasta with alfredo sauce with grilled spinach and mushrooms yesterday. So very, very good. I'm going to start a new blog all about my unnatural love for spinach. I shall call it, "Et tu, Popeye?" The End. Love, Confusia