My daily schedule by Confusia

Dear Terps,
For your viewing pleasure, I bring you , "My Daily Schedule (with commentary)"

6:30 - 7:00 Press Snooze on the Alarm clock and pretend that I'm actually getting more sleep.
7:00 - 7:30 Wake the kids, make sure they get dressed. This means watching to make sure
Confusia Jr. does not get out the door to 6th grade wearing fishnet stockings on all
four of her limbs, and making sure son has not got pants on backwards.
7:30 - 8:00 Drop baby at babysitter, then listen to other two kids argue endlessly on the way
to their school. Slow to approx. five mph, and push kids out of the car as I near the
Elem. school. Celebrate.
8:00 - 8:15 Drive to work after going through a drive-thru for my daily Diet Coke.
8:15 - 8:30 Check e-mail, go to List of the Day and see what's posted.
8:30 - 9:15 Morning Duty. If weather is cold, have the kids sit in gym while the Before School
Program plays Kickball. Being the In-School Suspension Person, realize that I am
little more than a walking target, and try to avoid getting a kickball in the face. If
weather permits, watch kids outside on playground. The following situations
must be carefully prevented:
A. Juan y Jesus getting into a mucho grande rumble because Juan is wearing the
colors of the Varrio Centro Killers, y Jesus is representing for Sureno 13. I also
must prevent them bursting into song and dance a la West Side Story.
B. Maria slapping Selena in the face because 5 of Maria's cousins told her that
Selena called her a cabrona y a puta.
9:15 - 11:45 Be in classroom. Make kids be quiet and do their school work. Make sure they
have ZERO fun to pay society back for the grievous crimes they have
perpetrated against it. Play on computer.
11:45 - 12:15 Get out of the building and go eat lunch and read somewhere.
12:15 - 4:30 See 9:15 - 11:45
4:30 - 5:00 Think about driving to Vegas, end up driving home after all.
5:00 - 8:00 Work. Hard. Wonder how I got to be so lucky.
8:00 - 8:30 Get kids ready for bed. Get them in bed. Think about becoming a crack addict.
8:30 - 11:00 Listen to my husband ask for a b*** j** for the millionth time (that day).
Consider carefully. Read a book.
11:00 - 1:30 Sleep. So very good. My favorite time of day.
1:30 - 2:00 Up with baby. Try to convince her that she is not supposed to be nocturnal. Fail.
2:00 - 4:30 Sleep. Yes, please, Oh, YES! Oh, GOD! YES!
4:30 - 5:30 Up with baby. Pretend she's Adrien Brody so I can retain some level of feeling
for her.
5:30 - 6:30 Doze lightly with one eye open out of fear the alarm clock is going to go off before
I get any more sleep.

Life is beautiful. Love, Confusia.