Confusia responds to Terpsichore's concerns with a little checklist she compiled through years of being a compulsive liar magnet. I urge you all to use this as a gauge to determine the level of truthfulness of your own significant other...This little baby never lies!


Dear Terpsichore,
Do you think he's even a doctor? REally, and I hate to say this because it sounds really cynical, (as if I've ever been afraid of cynicism...ha ha) nothing that men do really surprises me anymore.

So, he's probably not a doctor, probably doesn't live in San Diego..etc. I had kind of a big question mark when we went out the other night and you were telling me how he's almost afraid to start something with you because he feels like, if it doesn't work out, then nothing would. In my experiences with you, I have noticed that men are never afraid to start something with you, under any circumstances. It just didn't make alot of sense based on past observations. My guess is that you aren't just seeing a conspiracy. Let me tell you something else...The picture of him you showed me...either A...it could be anyone because the head shot was blurred, (granted, this could just be that I'm blind as a bat, and the picture was actually clear as a bell..ha ha) or B. it was him, he is a workout fiend, and let's just say for the record, that guys who make themselves look like that usually always have some sort of complex. Theya re either compulsive liars, who tell you very impressive stories...out of curiosity...has he ever told you a story involving him saving a life in a medical capacity? He probably didn't tell it like it was a huge event...maybe kind of blase, but still telling you? Has he ever told you that he A. has done some modeling B. is really into athletics, and was a star whatever when he was a kid or in High School. C. that he's really into martial arts, and is a black belt at something? D. That he's really involved in some kind of organization that helps children? If he has, then I'd put my money on him being a compulsive liar...all of these stories are, in the words of my hero, Dr. Evil, pretty much standard, really. :)


I present you with Exhibit A:
When I lived in Austin, there was this guy who said he taught dance lessons to disadvantaged children, and had performed with MC Hammer..(laugh. This gives away my age in a very unflattering light. ended up being a, LIAR!!! Never worked with disadvantaged kid, never worked with MC Hammer, didn't make as much money as he said...it was all just a bunch of crap....This guy left with another woman in front of me, then claimed that it was because her dogs were sick, and he was going to go help her with them...Sure.


The other guy was in Maine..
He had modelled and lived in Paris for a year...couldn't speak a rk of French, except one pleasantry he probably picked up on a summer vacation to Quebec. He was a black belt in Judo. He had been a soccer player destined for the Olympics until an "injury" ruined his chances.
He was shorter than I am, less muscular than I am...but you get the picture.

Maybe there is a perfectly reasonable explanation for these things...maybe he works for the CIA and CAN'T tell you what he really does. Maybe he's in Delta Force. Maybe he's a perfectly good guy but due to constraints with his REAL job, he is forced to lie. which would cause some real hardships for a good guy to deal with. That doesn't explain why he would tell you he wrote a paper that he didn't write, though. That's a lie that's for no apparent reason. It's not like you told him you wouldn't talk to him anymore if he didn't have a paper to his credit, you know? Maybe it's my own bias against people who take credit for things they didn't write or have the intelligenece to come up with on their own...(BEar with me, my fingers are cold, and there are typos, but I don't want to go back and correct every stupid one of them) I personally don't like or admire people who take credit for stuff they didn't do. That, to me, is the sorriest thing out of all that you told me. I don't care how badly he might want to impress you, it's theft. Far worse than taking someone's bike...they didn't make that to begin with...theft of an idea is way more personal. But I am kind of militant about that...ha ha


I think you should just ask him about these things. STraight up...he can either come clean, and try to offer up some reason for it that will either stand or not. Or he can choose to perpetuate all this...Either way, you'll get a glimpse of his true character.


Write back soon! My boredom level is nearing critical mass.