YOUR MOM!

So, you know how people go to Chinese restaurants and always add "in bed" to the end of the fortune cookie saying? Well, I've noticed among the crew here in A-Town, we've been restating what someone says by adding "Your mom" to the front of the statement. For example, "I left the clothes on the clothesline and now they're all wet and gross." "Your mom's all wet and gross!" You get the idea, yes? Well today I've been giving 6-weeks tests to kids so I've had a lot of free-time (Your mom has a lot of free-time), and I've been mentally adding "Your mom" to things I've heard. Here are some of my favorites (and trust me, they get a lot funnier if you start adding "Your mom" to everything you hear):

Miss, I don't know how to do problem number two.
Your mom doesn't know how to do number two.

I think I lost it in the car. (Referring to an assignment.)
Your mom lost it in the car. (Referring to whatever you might want it to refer to.)

I hope they're serving tacos in the cafeteria today. I love tacos.
Tu madre loves tacos.

Ok, so after doing that all day, now I find myself putting "Your mom" in front of totally benign phrases and getting a chuckle from it.

I'm sleepy.
Your mom's sleepy.

Do you have a pen I can use?
Your mom has a pen you can use.

Anyway, I want you to give it a whirl and let me know if you come up with any gems. It works particularly well in faculty meetings I have found. (i.e. I thought to myself, "Look at that freak with all those earrings.," becomes "Your mom is a freak with lots of earrings." OR "Her mom called and asked me to give her a job," becomes "Your mom called and asked"....oh wait...bad example.)

You know, when I first saw the topic of this post, I thought it was literally going to be about my mom. I seriously thought my mom must have called you to talk about me with you because let's face it, it's happened before. Yesterday afternoon, I got a panicked call from my mom who'd gone to pick up Confusia Jr. for dance lessons only to discover that Jr. wasn't at the house like she was supposed to be. So, I'm going everywhere looking for my dear, little girl while my mom is rattling off in my ear on the cell phone about how she's suspected for quite some time now that Jr. is troubled, and distant, and not herself lately, and must have found some boy and is doing"you know what" blah, blah, blah. Of course, I find Jr. walking along a residential street with a friend, and they've been at another friend's house, and she is grounded now...but not quite so bleak a situation as my mom was painting, right? So I figured my mom must have called you to talk to you about Confusia Jr. and if you can please talk to me about it and get me to see that something's going on, and blah, blah, blah...GEEZ! Don't scare me like that! Because you know that's something my mom would do, right? Just before she steals my car! ha ha