Dear Terps,
This was turned in to me on a sheet titled "Memories". I'm going to reprint it all word for word...
Terps, I give you The 6TH GRADE TEXAS STUDENT...(student's answers in red.)
1. I'll always remember a time I felt happy because some of the times I am happy, because as they say, ignorance is bliss, so come to think of it, I ALWAYS feel happy.
2. I'll always remember a time I felt sad because I don't no how to tie my shoes.
3. I'll always remember a time I felt afraid because Never in my life was I as scared as that time when Ms. B made me answer all these really hard questions without multiple choice options.
4. I'll always remember a time I felt left out because sometimz I get left out, like that time when my parents packed up and moved away and left me out of the plans.
5. I'll always remember a time i felt strong because always is a really strong maxi-pad brand and I like that.
6. I'll always remember a time I felt intelligent because some of the time when I'm in a room full of people with traumatic brain injuries and/or infants I seem pretty smart.
7. I'll always remember a time I felt successful because not all the time should you look at the fact that you can't do anything as being unsuccessful. For instance, if you are playing the role of "a bump on a log", being unable to accomplish anything is actually quite effective.
8. I'll always remember a time I felt frustrated because my sister (who is two-months old) scored higher than me on an IQ test.
9. I'll always remember a time I felt so angry because my cuzins told me I wasn't a good speller.
10. I'll always remember a time I felt so proud because I win something. It was really cool! I got to sit in the back of the police car and they had the sirens going and everything. It was really cool. I also liked it when they took me to that room and put my fingers in ink and pressed them on a piece of paper. It was neat-o!
Feel free to complete the sentences...ha ha ha (Not that I would ever try to score cheap laughs off of a student or anything...)
Love, Confusia
Enjoy!
Love ya, Terps
I laughed. Oh, how I laughed. Perhaps I'll answer them tomorrow! Oh wait, tomorrow I have to chaperone a field trip to a soccer game. It's sad that I'm actually excited about that simply because it beats having to put up with the daily BS I get in this classroom.
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Friday, October 10, 2008
I Spy a Brilliant Blog!
Dear Confusia,
Have you checked out Does This Blog Make Us Look Fat?
It's AWESOME!
Have a great weekend!
Love,
Terps
Have you checked out Does This Blog Make Us Look Fat?
It's AWESOME!
Have a great weekend!
Love,
Terps
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Could Somebody Just Rip the Band-Aid Off???
Dear Confusia,
I chose to use green to write you in today as it is Spirit Day, and the colors blue, white, and black are enough to induce vomitting in me.
Few times in my teaching career have I been less excited to be at school. I just feel completely and totally BLAH! I should probably be teaching the girls right now, but my head is throbbing, and I feel like crap. Instead, I am letting them spend the rest of this class period making posters to hold up during this afternoon's pep rally. I hope one of the administrators comes down to see the kids making posters and me working on the blog. That'd be awesome. The thought of today makes me sick. We are attempting to have school (but the kids are not engaged) and then we have the dreaded pep rally and then we're having a tailgate party and then I have to get on a big yella and ride across town to coach a game. When I finally get home tonight, at 10:00, I should be in great shape. Looking forward to it, for sure.
How's your hell?
Terps
Dear Terps,
Welcome to Gangland. I got more gangstas in here than every GodFather movie put together. I don't get it. I don't understand why the gang problem is so much worse this year than last year. No granted, towards the end of last year it was bad, but it is just too soon in the year for us to be having this kind of constant crap. Starting last Friday, every day this week I've had kids in and out, waiting for parents to pick them up, and letters being sent home about alternative school assignments due to gang shit. I'm TIRED of it. So allow me to vent for just a moment.
If you are a little gang-banging wanna-be asshole, could you just go ahead and die? Seriously. I mean, you're gonna get killed eventually, so why not just skip all the years of you being a pain in the ass for everyone else? Look at it as time management. ALSO, just stay the hell away from kids. Stay the hell away from them. Oh yeah...and die. Thanks. Check it out, I'm even writing in equal opportunity gang colors so no one has to get defensive...
Okay, now I feel slightly better, but not totally better. I'm afraid that can only be managed by someone getting Adrien Brody and a a fucking tropical island here RIGHT FUCKING NOW!!!
Thank you, Confusia
I chose to use green to write you in today as it is Spirit Day, and the colors blue, white, and black are enough to induce vomitting in me.
Few times in my teaching career have I been less excited to be at school. I just feel completely and totally BLAH! I should probably be teaching the girls right now, but my head is throbbing, and I feel like crap. Instead, I am letting them spend the rest of this class period making posters to hold up during this afternoon's pep rally. I hope one of the administrators comes down to see the kids making posters and me working on the blog. That'd be awesome. The thought of today makes me sick. We are attempting to have school (but the kids are not engaged) and then we have the dreaded pep rally and then we're having a tailgate party and then I have to get on a big yella and ride across town to coach a game. When I finally get home tonight, at 10:00, I should be in great shape. Looking forward to it, for sure.
How's your hell?
Terps
Dear Terps,
Welcome to Gangland. I got more gangstas in here than every GodFather movie put together. I don't get it. I don't understand why the gang problem is so much worse this year than last year. No granted, towards the end of last year it was bad, but it is just too soon in the year for us to be having this kind of constant crap. Starting last Friday, every day this week I've had kids in and out, waiting for parents to pick them up, and letters being sent home about alternative school assignments due to gang shit. I'm TIRED of it. So allow me to vent for just a moment.
If you are a little gang-banging wanna-be asshole, could you just go ahead and die? Seriously. I mean, you're gonna get killed eventually, so why not just skip all the years of you being a pain in the ass for everyone else? Look at it as time management. ALSO, just stay the hell away from kids. Stay the hell away from them. Oh yeah...and die. Thanks. Check it out, I'm even writing in equal opportunity gang colors so no one has to get defensive...
Okay, now I feel slightly better, but not totally better. I'm afraid that can only be managed by someone getting Adrien Brody and a a fucking tropical island here RIGHT FUCKING NOW!!!
Thank you, Confusia
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Homecoming Hell, Day Two: The "Fun" Continues
Dear Confusia,
How are you? Again I write to you wearing something completely ridiculous, god-awful in fact. Today is "Twin Day", so several teachers decided we'd wear the girls' basketball uniforms. There ended up being 8 of us. I'm not quite sure what that makes us, octuplets? John and Kate plus 8? Not sure, but now I have to walk around all day in this less-than-figure flattering ensemble. At least I was smart enough to remember my lunch today and have no reason to go out in public looking like this. Of course, I do have the health educators from Planned Parenthood coming in to do sex ed with the kids. That'll be fun.
Speaking of fun...you know how I get up at the ass-crack of dawn to go to the gym in the mornings? Well, imagine my joy when I got there at 5:30 and the a-hole who is supposed be there at 4:00 to open it hadn't shown yet. It was one of those, is it worth for me to drive back home now? Should I wait a few minutes and see if he shows? Where the hell is he? kind of moments. Turns out he never showed up, but several trainers (who had appointments with clients) did. Eventually they called a locksmith out who pretty much had to take the whole door off in order to get us in. I had just enough time to take a shower and leave to come to work. Really??? I wake up at 4:45 just so I can hang out in my car until 6:45??? That was good times.
I wish today was Friday? And I wish I had a vodka tonic right now? (Is 9:30 too early for that???)
Terps
Dear Terps,
At least I don't have to wear poodle skirts and b-ball uniforms to work. I hate those moments where things go wrong, and you're like, "Oh shit, what do I do? What do I DO???"
It's sad that we are such creatures of routine that we get thrown off so easily. It reminds me of that ant in the movie "A Bug's Life" He's carrying the piece of grain in a line, but a leaf falls and lands in front of him. He looks, then wails, "I'M LOOOOOSSSTTT!" Yep, that's how I feel...
I'M LOSSSSTTTTTT! ha ha
How are you? Again I write to you wearing something completely ridiculous, god-awful in fact. Today is "Twin Day", so several teachers decided we'd wear the girls' basketball uniforms. There ended up being 8 of us. I'm not quite sure what that makes us, octuplets? John and Kate plus 8? Not sure, but now I have to walk around all day in this less-than-figure flattering ensemble. At least I was smart enough to remember my lunch today and have no reason to go out in public looking like this. Of course, I do have the health educators from Planned Parenthood coming in to do sex ed with the kids. That'll be fun.
Speaking of fun...you know how I get up at the ass-crack of dawn to go to the gym in the mornings? Well, imagine my joy when I got there at 5:30 and the a-hole who is supposed be there at 4:00 to open it hadn't shown yet. It was one of those, is it worth for me to drive back home now? Should I wait a few minutes and see if he shows? Where the hell is he? kind of moments. Turns out he never showed up, but several trainers (who had appointments with clients) did. Eventually they called a locksmith out who pretty much had to take the whole door off in order to get us in. I had just enough time to take a shower and leave to come to work. Really??? I wake up at 4:45 just so I can hang out in my car until 6:45??? That was good times.
I wish today was Friday? And I wish I had a vodka tonic right now? (Is 9:30 too early for that???)
Terps
Dear Terps,
At least I don't have to wear poodle skirts and b-ball uniforms to work. I hate those moments where things go wrong, and you're like, "Oh shit, what do I do? What do I DO???"
It's sad that we are such creatures of routine that we get thrown off so easily. It reminds me of that ant in the movie "A Bug's Life" He's carrying the piece of grain in a line, but a leaf falls and lands in front of him. He looks, then wails, "I'M LOOOOOSSSTTT!" Yep, that's how I feel...
I'M LOSSSSTTTTTT! ha ha
Monday, October 6, 2008
Stupid Monday
Dearest Confusia,
How are you? I write to you from my desk in my classroom wearing a poodle skirt and Saddle Oxfords. I look and feel like a total moron. It is homecoming week and today is "Dress Like Your Favorite Decade". The Fifties is not my favorite decade, but Rachel had that skirt from the Halloween we went as the Pink Ladies, so I figured, what the hey. However, now that I have it on I feel like a complete douche bag. Really? I didn't decide to go as the 90s? I could be sitting here at my desk wearing jeans and a flannel shirt, (for all intents and purposes, my pjs) but no, instead I'm wearing a skirt complete with tulle and sequines. Fun! I think the best part of the experience thus far is this morning, I had to get dressed at the gym. I found myself trying to justify to the ladies in the locker room (women I never talk to) why it was that I was wearing a pink poodle skirt. In fact, as I was leaving the gym, I had an older woman come up to me and ask me where I got the skirt. She informed me that she's going to her 50 year high school reunion and wanted to dress like the times. I almost took it off and gave it to her right there. Only that I would have been clad in nothing but my underwear kept me from doing do. Just when I thought the humiliation of it would end as soon as I got to school, it dawned on me that I forgot to bring my lunch today. Now, I'll have to go out in public at lunchtime and get something or I could starve. Starving is always an option. Have I mentioned that I look like a total tool?
By the way, if I ever see tie-dye again, I might puke. I guess the 70s is an easy decade to dress like? Ugh!
How was your weekend?
Dear Terps,
My weekend was f-ing swell, let me tell you. Last week I tried to get my car inspected, but no sooner had I pulled up than the dude was like, "That won't pass. I can already tell you've got an exhaust leak. Take it to so-and so, and they can take a look at it for you." So I drove it to the other place he suggested, and the guy told me it sounded like a cracked exhaust manifold. He said he could weld it for me if I could go to this other garage and have them take it out. So off I went, only to discover that they wanted 200 bucks just to take the thing out. On to Plan B. I went to a junkyard and got an exhaust manifold for 75 bucks. I took it back to the house and started working on the car. I got the heat shield off, but the alternator was in the way, and my weak female arms couldn't get all the screws on the manifold off. I called my father-in-law, and he came over to help me. I told him that there weren't any cracks in the damn manifold. He saw it and agree with me. He put a five dollar gasket in there with the old manifold, and the car passed inspection yesterday. Now the junkyard won't take the other manifold back, so I'm stuck with the damn thing. I'm going to try to sell it and an old boat motor Alan's got as scrap metal, though.
The funniest thing about this is we both know I know shit about cars and how to fix them. I was covered in grease, and blisters, but I did save myself some money! Plus, I got to feel like Rosie the Riveter...ha ha I'm such a badass car mechanic!
When the hell are we retiring to our island again???
How are you? I write to you from my desk in my classroom wearing a poodle skirt and Saddle Oxfords. I look and feel like a total moron. It is homecoming week and today is "Dress Like Your Favorite Decade". The Fifties is not my favorite decade, but Rachel had that skirt from the Halloween we went as the Pink Ladies, so I figured, what the hey. However, now that I have it on I feel like a complete douche bag. Really? I didn't decide to go as the 90s? I could be sitting here at my desk wearing jeans and a flannel shirt, (for all intents and purposes, my pjs) but no, instead I'm wearing a skirt complete with tulle and sequines. Fun! I think the best part of the experience thus far is this morning, I had to get dressed at the gym. I found myself trying to justify to the ladies in the locker room (women I never talk to) why it was that I was wearing a pink poodle skirt. In fact, as I was leaving the gym, I had an older woman come up to me and ask me where I got the skirt. She informed me that she's going to her 50 year high school reunion and wanted to dress like the times. I almost took it off and gave it to her right there. Only that I would have been clad in nothing but my underwear kept me from doing do. Just when I thought the humiliation of it would end as soon as I got to school, it dawned on me that I forgot to bring my lunch today. Now, I'll have to go out in public at lunchtime and get something or I could starve. Starving is always an option. Have I mentioned that I look like a total tool?
By the way, if I ever see tie-dye again, I might puke. I guess the 70s is an easy decade to dress like? Ugh!
How was your weekend?
Dear Terps,
My weekend was f-ing swell, let me tell you. Last week I tried to get my car inspected, but no sooner had I pulled up than the dude was like, "That won't pass. I can already tell you've got an exhaust leak. Take it to so-and so, and they can take a look at it for you." So I drove it to the other place he suggested, and the guy told me it sounded like a cracked exhaust manifold. He said he could weld it for me if I could go to this other garage and have them take it out. So off I went, only to discover that they wanted 200 bucks just to take the thing out. On to Plan B. I went to a junkyard and got an exhaust manifold for 75 bucks. I took it back to the house and started working on the car. I got the heat shield off, but the alternator was in the way, and my weak female arms couldn't get all the screws on the manifold off. I called my father-in-law, and he came over to help me. I told him that there weren't any cracks in the damn manifold. He saw it and agree with me. He put a five dollar gasket in there with the old manifold, and the car passed inspection yesterday. Now the junkyard won't take the other manifold back, so I'm stuck with the damn thing. I'm going to try to sell it and an old boat motor Alan's got as scrap metal, though.
The funniest thing about this is we both know I know shit about cars and how to fix them. I was covered in grease, and blisters, but I did save myself some money! Plus, I got to feel like Rosie the Riveter...ha ha I'm such a badass car mechanic!
When the hell are we retiring to our island again???
Monday, September 29, 2008
Happy Fucking Friday.
Dear Terps,
This morning, we had a little to-do out on the playground which has ended in a "mass suspension". 24 kids suspended for three days. 2 kids going to alternative school...All due to gang related crap. What the hell.
Also, I'm going to have to vent about the VP debate for just a second. What the hell is wrong with Palin??? Is it me? Did you watch the debate? Here are a few of my thoughts on it:
A. What in the name of God does she think she's competing for? She was WINKING at the cameras. Really??? Winking at the cameras at a Vice presidential debate??? I was floored.
B. The shout-out to the third graders...What the hell??? "Hey, Yo Man, I just wanna give a shout-out to my homies watchin' this thang up in AK, you know what I'm sayin"?" Since when do potential VP's do shout-outs???
C. Three words...Nook-U-Ler.
D. At first, I was like, "Well, she actually seems a bit likeable." Then I remembered that she shoots animals from the air, that she fires people who disagree with her, that she thinks banning books is acceptable, and that she's a totally vicious, ambitious, so-called "barracuda, pitbull with lipstick" who is probably already looking for a way to slip poison to McCain, and I didn't think she was so likeable anymore.
BLURRRGGGHH.
She makes me want to hurl. Seriously.
On the other hand, I heart Joe Biden. I was struck by that moment when he began talking about his family and teared up. His sincerity all night made Palin's artificiality that much more glaring.
Okay. I'm done. Tell me again when our Beastlie Girl Reunion Tour is again because I need a fucking Rum and Coke. Oh yeah, and "I'll Want to Make That a Double"!
BEASTLIE GIRLS: You'll Want to Make That A Double 2008!!!
Dear Confusia,
I refuse to discuss the presidential election and in particular Palin because she makes my blood pressure rise. I have never found anything even remotely likeable about her. I find her deplorable in all possible ways. But , I'm not going to do that to myself. Not on Friday; not at 1:30 in the afternoon.
As for the reunion tour, I will be in town the weekend of the anniversary of my birth, so I'll be there November 14-16. I am going to a basketball game on that Friday, so Saturday would probably be the best date for the performance. Of course, our third member and I had a bit of a confrontation last night so I can't say with 100% conviction that she'll be going with me. I would tell you all the gory details of that, but it is a long, complicated, 14 months in the making story, and my vertigo is too bad for me to try to get into that now. That and the fact that I really should be teaching these 24 child bodies in the room. I just can't seem to get motivated today. I should work on that, being as how my day will last another 14+ hours. UGH!!!
How's the other situation?
Love ya,
Terps
This morning, we had a little to-do out on the playground which has ended in a "mass suspension". 24 kids suspended for three days. 2 kids going to alternative school...All due to gang related crap. What the hell.
Also, I'm going to have to vent about the VP debate for just a second. What the hell is wrong with Palin??? Is it me? Did you watch the debate? Here are a few of my thoughts on it:
A. What in the name of God does she think she's competing for? She was WINKING at the cameras. Really??? Winking at the cameras at a Vice presidential debate??? I was floored.
B. The shout-out to the third graders...What the hell??? "Hey, Yo Man, I just wanna give a shout-out to my homies watchin' this thang up in AK, you know what I'm sayin"?" Since when do potential VP's do shout-outs???
C. Three words...Nook-U-Ler.
D. At first, I was like, "Well, she actually seems a bit likeable." Then I remembered that she shoots animals from the air, that she fires people who disagree with her, that she thinks banning books is acceptable, and that she's a totally vicious, ambitious, so-called "barracuda, pitbull with lipstick" who is probably already looking for a way to slip poison to McCain, and I didn't think she was so likeable anymore.
BLURRRGGGHH.
She makes me want to hurl. Seriously.
On the other hand, I heart Joe Biden. I was struck by that moment when he began talking about his family and teared up. His sincerity all night made Palin's artificiality that much more glaring.
Okay. I'm done. Tell me again when our Beastlie Girl Reunion Tour is again because I need a fucking Rum and Coke. Oh yeah, and "I'll Want to Make That a Double"!
BEASTLIE GIRLS: You'll Want to Make That A Double 2008!!!
Dear Confusia,
I refuse to discuss the presidential election and in particular Palin because she makes my blood pressure rise. I have never found anything even remotely likeable about her. I find her deplorable in all possible ways. But , I'm not going to do that to myself. Not on Friday; not at 1:30 in the afternoon.
As for the reunion tour, I will be in town the weekend of the anniversary of my birth, so I'll be there November 14-16. I am going to a basketball game on that Friday, so Saturday would probably be the best date for the performance. Of course, our third member and I had a bit of a confrontation last night so I can't say with 100% conviction that she'll be going with me. I would tell you all the gory details of that, but it is a long, complicated, 14 months in the making story, and my vertigo is too bad for me to try to get into that now. That and the fact that I really should be teaching these 24 child bodies in the room. I just can't seem to get motivated today. I should work on that, being as how my day will last another 14+ hours. UGH!!!
How's the other situation?
Love ya,
Terps
Monday, September 22, 2008
Little Things That Keep Me Going
Dearest Confusia,
I'm really glad to hear about your dry erase board. I too got dry erase boards this year. I find that exciting because although I had chalk boards last year, they didn't erase worth a crap and I found that incredibly annoying. Plus everyone knows that the high you get from smelling dry erase markers is WAY better than chalk.
So, how was your weekend? Mine was ok. Not long enough (of course) and not restful enough, but I did wipe out the pockets of several people playing poker last night so I have no complaints.
Shoud we practice for the reunion tour?
Terps
Dear Terps,
I do like the dry erase markers, but I find myself coming up with excuses to use my Sharpie "Magnum". We're talking about an inch thick marker filled with Sharpie fumes...Plus, the word "Magnum"...Not quite as good as "Moist Towellette", but still pretty intoxicating. (Pun intended)
My weekend was ordered up by Satan himself. Destruction, heartache, night at my mom's house. I kept looking up at the skies expecting to see the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse bearing down on me. I have no doubt that all four of those flaming horses would have taken a crap on my head as they passed. Sweet.
I'm really glad to hear about your dry erase board. I too got dry erase boards this year. I find that exciting because although I had chalk boards last year, they didn't erase worth a crap and I found that incredibly annoying. Plus everyone knows that the high you get from smelling dry erase markers is WAY better than chalk.
So, how was your weekend? Mine was ok. Not long enough (of course) and not restful enough, but I did wipe out the pockets of several people playing poker last night so I have no complaints.
Shoud we practice for the reunion tour?
Terps
Dear Terps,
I do like the dry erase markers, but I find myself coming up with excuses to use my Sharpie "Magnum". We're talking about an inch thick marker filled with Sharpie fumes...Plus, the word "Magnum"...Not quite as good as "Moist Towellette", but still pretty intoxicating. (Pun intended)
My weekend was ordered up by Satan himself. Destruction, heartache, night at my mom's house. I kept looking up at the skies expecting to see the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse bearing down on me. I have no doubt that all four of those flaming horses would have taken a crap on my head as they passed. Sweet.
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