Dear Confusia,
Just thought I'd take a moment to give you a brief update on my weird dating life.
I had a date with a third guy on Saturday. Here's the info: Mark, 35 yrs old, works in computer advertising and marketing, from Dallas. He and I went to lunch. He was a perfectly nice guy, and we had a great time. Here's the thing I can't seem to get my head around: Why haven't I met the creepy scumbags that everybody has warned me about? Kelli told me that when she did the online dating thing in L.A., it was a total nightmare. Maybe I've just been really lucky??? Anyway, he's leaving today for Costa Rica, lucky!!!
Updates on Jim and Xavier...Jim and I went to lunch yesterday (Indian food is oh so yummy!!!) We had a great time, though he did beat me at a game of darts, and as you know, I didn't handle that way. I swore I'd have my revenge. Anyway, it was a good time. He works during the weeks on site (he's a petroleum engineer) in Beaumont during the weeks so we might do something this upcoming weekend. As for Xavier, he and I went out again on Sunday night and we are meeting for dinner again tonight. I guess my ulterior goal is to gain a hundred pounds before school lets out.
Anyway, thus far, nothing creepy has happened. In fact, they have all been perfect gentlemen. It's pretty shocking actually.
Ok, I guess I should get back to work. When will it end????
Love ya,
Terps
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Trying to Decide
Dear Confusia,
I'm trying to decide just how in-depth I should get when explaining the background on these two dates...
-Terps
Dear Terps,
I suggest full disclosure. :) How else will I be able to inject a full range of sarcastic humor when I respond? ha ha ha
Love, Confusia
PS I will write more later. I've had crazy week. In the meantime, see above.
Dear Confusia,
But it's all just so sordid. Ok, I'll try. So, we have a friend (she lives in the greater DFW area) who has a profile on a dating site. She has been nagging me over and over and over again to make a profile for myself. Well, I never did because the whole meeting someone online thing just seems so very bizarre to me. But even more bizarre to me was that she is CONSTANTLY meeting people and going out on dates and whatnot. So I started thinking, "Why is it that I never get asked out? Why is it that she has such a great social life and I seem like a social pariah?" So after she was telling me about some guy she was seeing I said something to her about how jealous of all her dates I was. She kind of ignored me at first but later in the conversation she asked me, "How do you find information to share with your kids in class?" So I told her that if I didn't have enough resources at school I just look on the Internet to get more information and blah blah blah. Then she asked, "If you are planning on going to some restaurant but you don't really know how to get there, how do you find out where it is?" And of course I said, "I look it up online." So finally she said, "Our lives are so busy that we rely on the Internet for everything. We get directions, phone numbers, we shop, right? So why not use the Internet to meet people?" So I kind of played around with that idea in my head and figured, why the hell not. So, I put together a very bare bones profile, and by the end of the first hour I had like 25 messages in my box. Now, for the most part the guys were gross or creepy or too unbelievably wonderful, but after all the rummaging, I managed to come across a few possibilities. We started emailing each other and before you know it I have a date with one guy on Monday night for disco/sushi/ karaoke (which was super fun) and one the next night for sushi (which must be a good first date) and drinks. Both of them were great, not creepy, total gentlemen, and I had a great time. I think that might be the exception and not the norm, but...
So, I was supposed to have another date tonight, but I ended up postponing because I'm just exhausted. I went out Monday and Tuesday, had my bowling league yesterday, and work tomorrow night. I decided that tonight would be overkill. However, he and I are going to lunch on Saturday, so we'll see.
Now for the low down on the first two guys.
Monday, Jim, 33 year old engineer. The date was super fun both because of the atmosphere and the guy. He was easy to talk to, but it was REALLY loud so we didn't get to know each other too well. He did, however, ask me if I would go out with him again sometime next week (his sister is visiting Austin this weekend) somewhere a little quieter where we could talk more. So, if he contacts me again, I'd likely go.
Tuesday, Xavier, 32 year old sex ed and family planning teacher. So, I should start this by saying that he is Puerto Rican and has curly hair. That was about all I needed, however, turns out that he and I got along really well. He is super easy to talk to and he and I have a lot in common. (He mentioned the Smiths and the Cure throughout the night.) The next morning he sent me a very sweet, gentlemanly email that any girl would love. He's supposed to call me tonight and I think we might be planning on meeting again on Sunday. There is something very articulate and intelligent-sounding about him that makes me think some people might find him slightly effeminate (like Julian Sands or Jude Law), but as he has curly dark brown hair, I'm able to look past it for now.
OK, I think that's it. Have a field day!
-Terps
Dear Terps,
That sounds really good, actually! I'm glad you're enjoying yourself a bit. I imagine those guys' eyes lit up when they saw you! "Cha-ching! JACKPOT!" I think it's entirely possible to meet someone good online. My sister Heidi met her now husband on e-harmony, you know.
I'm not exactly sure how my personal life is going right now. Mr. came home a month ago, he was taking his medicine and doing great. Things were going really well. A week ago, the med. stopped again, and it's getting difficult again. I'm observing, and I think, quietly and calmly going through a bit of a grieving process right now with the understanding that I'm going to have to make some changes. So bear with me if you can. I've also been having really tough times at work with the number of kids, the sorts of behavior, etc. Every day is a challenge. There are some good things, too, though. Last night, I was re-reading Jon Stewarts' AMerica, the book. LMAO...The part that struck me as particularly funny last night was when he lists the requirements to be President. "You have to have resided in the US for the previous fourteen years." Jon continues with something like, "Fourteen years...because fifteen is too long, and thirteen isn't enough. Thirteen?...please. Get fucking serious."
For some reason, that's been making me laugh all day today. "Thirteen? Get fucking serious."
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
Great. Here comes another little shit into my classroom. Yippee. I wonder what this one did.
Set fire to the playground? Spray paint the cafeteria? Knife the custodian??? ARRRRGGGHHHH!
Love, Confusia
I'm trying to decide just how in-depth I should get when explaining the background on these two dates...
-Terps
Dear Terps,
I suggest full disclosure. :) How else will I be able to inject a full range of sarcastic humor when I respond? ha ha ha
Love, Confusia
PS I will write more later. I've had crazy week. In the meantime, see above.
Dear Confusia,
But it's all just so sordid. Ok, I'll try. So, we have a friend (she lives in the greater DFW area) who has a profile on a dating site. She has been nagging me over and over and over again to make a profile for myself. Well, I never did because the whole meeting someone online thing just seems so very bizarre to me. But even more bizarre to me was that she is CONSTANTLY meeting people and going out on dates and whatnot. So I started thinking, "Why is it that I never get asked out? Why is it that she has such a great social life and I seem like a social pariah?" So after she was telling me about some guy she was seeing I said something to her about how jealous of all her dates I was. She kind of ignored me at first but later in the conversation she asked me, "How do you find information to share with your kids in class?" So I told her that if I didn't have enough resources at school I just look on the Internet to get more information and blah blah blah. Then she asked, "If you are planning on going to some restaurant but you don't really know how to get there, how do you find out where it is?" And of course I said, "I look it up online." So finally she said, "Our lives are so busy that we rely on the Internet for everything. We get directions, phone numbers, we shop, right? So why not use the Internet to meet people?" So I kind of played around with that idea in my head and figured, why the hell not. So, I put together a very bare bones profile, and by the end of the first hour I had like 25 messages in my box. Now, for the most part the guys were gross or creepy or too unbelievably wonderful, but after all the rummaging, I managed to come across a few possibilities. We started emailing each other and before you know it I have a date with one guy on Monday night for disco/sushi/ karaoke (which was super fun) and one the next night for sushi (which must be a good first date) and drinks. Both of them were great, not creepy, total gentlemen, and I had a great time. I think that might be the exception and not the norm, but...
So, I was supposed to have another date tonight, but I ended up postponing because I'm just exhausted. I went out Monday and Tuesday, had my bowling league yesterday, and work tomorrow night. I decided that tonight would be overkill. However, he and I are going to lunch on Saturday, so we'll see.
Now for the low down on the first two guys.
Monday, Jim, 33 year old engineer. The date was super fun both because of the atmosphere and the guy. He was easy to talk to, but it was REALLY loud so we didn't get to know each other too well. He did, however, ask me if I would go out with him again sometime next week (his sister is visiting Austin this weekend) somewhere a little quieter where we could talk more. So, if he contacts me again, I'd likely go.
Tuesday, Xavier, 32 year old sex ed and family planning teacher. So, I should start this by saying that he is Puerto Rican and has curly hair. That was about all I needed, however, turns out that he and I got along really well. He is super easy to talk to and he and I have a lot in common. (He mentioned the Smiths and the Cure throughout the night.) The next morning he sent me a very sweet, gentlemanly email that any girl would love. He's supposed to call me tonight and I think we might be planning on meeting again on Sunday. There is something very articulate and intelligent-sounding about him that makes me think some people might find him slightly effeminate (like Julian Sands or Jude Law), but as he has curly dark brown hair, I'm able to look past it for now.
OK, I think that's it. Have a field day!
-Terps
Dear Terps,
That sounds really good, actually! I'm glad you're enjoying yourself a bit. I imagine those guys' eyes lit up when they saw you! "Cha-ching! JACKPOT!" I think it's entirely possible to meet someone good online. My sister Heidi met her now husband on e-harmony, you know.
I'm not exactly sure how my personal life is going right now. Mr. came home a month ago, he was taking his medicine and doing great. Things were going really well. A week ago, the med. stopped again, and it's getting difficult again. I'm observing, and I think, quietly and calmly going through a bit of a grieving process right now with the understanding that I'm going to have to make some changes. So bear with me if you can. I've also been having really tough times at work with the number of kids, the sorts of behavior, etc. Every day is a challenge. There are some good things, too, though. Last night, I was re-reading Jon Stewarts' AMerica, the book. LMAO...The part that struck me as particularly funny last night was when he lists the requirements to be President. "You have to have resided in the US for the previous fourteen years." Jon continues with something like, "Fourteen years...because fifteen is too long, and thirteen isn't enough. Thirteen?...please. Get fucking serious."
For some reason, that's been making me laugh all day today. "Thirteen? Get fucking serious."
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
Great. Here comes another little shit into my classroom. Yippee. I wonder what this one did.
Set fire to the playground? Spray paint the cafeteria? Knife the custodian??? ARRRRGGGHHHH!
Love, Confusia
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
You Might Wanna Brace Yourself
Dear Confusia,
Guess who had a date last night and has another one tonight...
Love,
Terps
Dear Terps,
Who with? Two dates in two nights??? What gives?
Love, Confusia
Oh, nobody that I've ever mentioned before, mostly because I haven't known either of them very long. Last night I went to this disco-sushi/karaoke saki bomb adventure with this guy named Jim. Initially when he asked me out, I wasn't really interested, but then I thought, "What the fuck else do I have going on Monday night?" So I went and had a surprisingly good time. The guy I'm going out with tonight, Xavier, seems like someone I'm initially more attracted to, but that's usually the kiss of death, so who knows. (He does have curly hair though, and I might just be willing to put up with anything for that.) So the weird thing is that I have been a complete and total wreck both days. Like I said, I'm not particularly invested in either of them, but this whole "going out on a date" thing REALLY does a numer on me. I start focusing on everything that might go wrong, every flaw I have (and focusing on that is a full time job), etc. Anyway, I'm off to get a haircut. I'll give you the details tomorrow!
Love ya,
Terps
Guess who had a date last night and has another one tonight...
Love,
Terps
Dear Terps,
Who with? Two dates in two nights??? What gives?
Love, Confusia
Oh, nobody that I've ever mentioned before, mostly because I haven't known either of them very long. Last night I went to this disco-sushi/karaoke saki bomb adventure with this guy named Jim. Initially when he asked me out, I wasn't really interested, but then I thought, "What the fuck else do I have going on Monday night?" So I went and had a surprisingly good time. The guy I'm going out with tonight, Xavier, seems like someone I'm initially more attracted to, but that's usually the kiss of death, so who knows. (He does have curly hair though, and I might just be willing to put up with anything for that.) So the weird thing is that I have been a complete and total wreck both days. Like I said, I'm not particularly invested in either of them, but this whole "going out on a date" thing REALLY does a numer on me. I start focusing on everything that might go wrong, every flaw I have (and focusing on that is a full time job), etc. Anyway, I'm off to get a haircut. I'll give you the details tomorrow!
Love ya,
Terps
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Hey! Confusia Throws a Tantrum, and a few other things, too.
Dear Confusia,
You doing ok over there?
Love, Terps
Oh geez, yeah, I'm terrific. I had a major meltdown this morning at the house. I threw a big old fit, and a few other things, too, but I'm all better now. I got to work, and I have 15 kids in In-House today. I have made them work like nobody's business today. I started them out with a two page essay on correct behavior. Later on they were talking when told to line up for bathroom break, so I sat them all down again and let them write down a list of informative steps on how to line up quietly.
Last week, the Prin. and VP told me that I was sending too many kids out of In-House back to the office so they sent me yesterday to observe the IHS program at another 6th grade center. I explained to them that I thought they wanted me to send troublemaking kids back to them to be sent home in order to make the parents be responsible. So whatever. I had fun over at the other school all day. They wanted me to pick up some attitude lessons from the IHS teacher over there. Yeah, okay...she has a tiny little space right outside the VP's office for IHS. There are 4 desks in her room. I asked her how many she averages per day. She and the VP told me "About 3 per day, on average." If they get more, she moves to the cafeteria, puts them one at a table, etc. I have a classroom that holds 15 kids. No carrels, no wall space to have desks facing the walls, etc. Today, I've got two kids sitting at my desk doing their work. That cleared up another two spaces...who knows if I'll get those desks filled by the end of the day. This is my average day. 3 <15
But I did pick up something from the other teacher. She looked at a kid and said, "Don't make me have the 'Come to Jesus' talk with you, Boy!"
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
Love, Confusia
You doing ok over there?
Love, Terps
Oh geez, yeah, I'm terrific. I had a major meltdown this morning at the house. I threw a big old fit, and a few other things, too, but I'm all better now. I got to work, and I have 15 kids in In-House today. I have made them work like nobody's business today. I started them out with a two page essay on correct behavior. Later on they were talking when told to line up for bathroom break, so I sat them all down again and let them write down a list of informative steps on how to line up quietly.
Last week, the Prin. and VP told me that I was sending too many kids out of In-House back to the office so they sent me yesterday to observe the IHS program at another 6th grade center. I explained to them that I thought they wanted me to send troublemaking kids back to them to be sent home in order to make the parents be responsible. So whatever. I had fun over at the other school all day. They wanted me to pick up some attitude lessons from the IHS teacher over there. Yeah, okay...she has a tiny little space right outside the VP's office for IHS. There are 4 desks in her room. I asked her how many she averages per day. She and the VP told me "About 3 per day, on average." If they get more, she moves to the cafeteria, puts them one at a table, etc. I have a classroom that holds 15 kids. No carrels, no wall space to have desks facing the walls, etc. Today, I've got two kids sitting at my desk doing their work. That cleared up another two spaces...who knows if I'll get those desks filled by the end of the day. This is my average day. 3 <15
But I did pick up something from the other teacher. She looked at a kid and said, "Don't make me have the 'Come to Jesus' talk with you, Boy!"
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
Love, Confusia
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
Blah
Dear Confusia,
Do you ever have one of those days when you just hate yourself?
Love,
Terps
Dear Terps,
Why are you feeling badly? What's going on? I do have days when I want to get away from me, of course! Please let me know what's got you down.
Love, Confusia
PS Today I will love you enough for both of us. :)
Dear Confusia,
I know this just sounds so "Oh woe is me" and shit, but today I feel:
old
fat
boring
tired
and so on...
Somedays I just wake up and think, "Oh God, this is as good as my life is ever going to get," and that frightens the fuck out of me. Ugh!
Do you ever have one of those days when you just hate yourself?
Love,
Terps
Dear Terps,
Why are you feeling badly? What's going on? I do have days when I want to get away from me, of course! Please let me know what's got you down.
Love, Confusia
PS Today I will love you enough for both of us. :)
Dear Confusia,
I know this just sounds so "Oh woe is me" and shit, but today I feel:
old
fat
boring
tired
and so on...
Somedays I just wake up and think, "Oh God, this is as good as my life is ever going to get," and that frightens the fuck out of me. Ugh!
Monday, May 5, 2008
What's My Problem Exactly???
Dear Confusia,
I want to preface this with saying that I know that everything I am about to complain about is of my own doing. I really can blame only myself for all this junk, but nevertheless I'm about to commence to bitching about my life.
This weekend was absolutely exhausting. Forget anything I've ever said about the weekend and know that this weekend I actually wanted it to be Monday so that I could get back to my normal work schedule.
For some reason, I decided that it would be perfectly fine to work not only my normal Friday night shift, but I also decided that I could work Saturday AND Sunday. Seriously? What was I thinking?
I was so exhausted by the time I got home Saturday night that when Steven (whom I had after-work plans with) called I had to tell him that unless he wanted to watch me sleep (probably with drool running out of my mouth), that we'd have to reschedule for another time. Which we did, for Sunday when I got home from work. He ended up staying over until midnight and now here I find myself DRAGGING ASS at work.
Why do you think it is that I feel this compulsion to work so much?
Love ya,
Terps
PS Did you get the book back?
Well, I'll tell you...I don't know. I myself have no such compulsion, but end up working all the dang time anyway. This past weekend wasn't so bad for me. In fact, I'd say it was really great! My job at work, though, is much easier than my job at home, so I'm in a different situation. You could take the time off and just relax on the weekend if you wanted to. I'm FORCED to work. My life is kind of weird right now as I think about it.
"Strange things are afoot at the Circle K." I just like to stick that line in randomly wherever possible.
I got the book back, but haven't had a chance to read it yet. I should get it back to you by the end of the day. Hope springs eternal!
Love, Confusia
I want to preface this with saying that I know that everything I am about to complain about is of my own doing. I really can blame only myself for all this junk, but nevertheless I'm about to commence to bitching about my life.
This weekend was absolutely exhausting. Forget anything I've ever said about the weekend and know that this weekend I actually wanted it to be Monday so that I could get back to my normal work schedule.
For some reason, I decided that it would be perfectly fine to work not only my normal Friday night shift, but I also decided that I could work Saturday AND Sunday. Seriously? What was I thinking?
I was so exhausted by the time I got home Saturday night that when Steven (whom I had after-work plans with) called I had to tell him that unless he wanted to watch me sleep (probably with drool running out of my mouth), that we'd have to reschedule for another time. Which we did, for Sunday when I got home from work. He ended up staying over until midnight and now here I find myself DRAGGING ASS at work.
Why do you think it is that I feel this compulsion to work so much?
Love ya,
Terps
PS Did you get the book back?
Well, I'll tell you...I don't know. I myself have no such compulsion, but end up working all the dang time anyway. This past weekend wasn't so bad for me. In fact, I'd say it was really great! My job at work, though, is much easier than my job at home, so I'm in a different situation. You could take the time off and just relax on the weekend if you wanted to. I'm FORCED to work. My life is kind of weird right now as I think about it.
"Strange things are afoot at the Circle K." I just like to stick that line in randomly wherever possible.
I got the book back, but haven't had a chance to read it yet. I should get it back to you by the end of the day. Hope springs eternal!
Love, Confusia
Friday, May 2, 2008
BOWIE!!!
He's cute, huh?
I especially love his expression in the top picture! He is really cute. He looks more Labrador-ish thatn sheep dog-ish to me, though. He looks to be in pretty good shape, too! He's going to think he's in Heaven living with you! Imagine going from a house where you're living with 100 other dogs, and how filthy that must have been, to going to live in Terps' Doggy Palace where you have your own little house, and even a beautiful, red-headed girlfriend named Rhoda! He's a sweetie doggie. Would you like a pet possum to go with him? Because I can hook you up. :)
Love, Confusia
PS Will this school week end soon? Please?
Thursday, May 1, 2008
Can I Get a MEDIC????
Dear Terps,
I am writing this to you using a very appropriate color to describe the events that have transpired this week. This may bore you as it is largely about kid trauma, or it may just make you giddy that you have no kids...Either way, here goes...
Monday afternoon, I came home from work, and Confusia Jr. (CJ) told me that sh'es going to be hanging out in her room by herself most of the evening because she has to rest up and relax to prepare for the TAKS test which begins Tuesday. I bought it. Later that evening, we went up to Wal-Mart for cat food or something, and we decided to eat at Subway because it was getting late. I asked CJ something, and she responded with her hand in her mouth. I was like, "WTH?" So I said, "CJ, take your hand out of your mouth. I can't understand you." She said, "Why?" I said, "I can't understand you." She again said, "Why?" I said, "Because I said so. How's that?" Very slowly, she took her hand out of her mouth, and everything became clear. She had a large, gnarly safety pin hanging out of her lip. Yes, my twelve-year old had brilliantly decided to pierce her lower lip with a nasty, old safety pin before I got home from work. I said, "Out. Take it out." She tried to argue, then she took off for the bathroom. I followed and made sure she took it out. Gross. Good God!!! Anyway, afterwards, I was talking about it with Alan (I will explain more on that later) he suggested that we let her leave it in. He said, "If it's a matter of choosing your battles, well, so she leaves it in, it gets infected, she learns her lesson... If you make it into an issue, it's just going to make her want it even more." Well, I saw the sense in that, so I told her she could choose to leave it in for at least a week, or be grounded for a week. She chose to leave it in for a week. Of course, her school made her take it out, so she's been taking it out and putting it back in. She began begging us to get her a post so it would be permanent. I was considering caving in on it, but last night she came to me and said, "Mom. I really want to take it out. It hurts, and I think it's infected. I'm really, really sorry, and I won't ever do it again. I promise." I was so relieved to hear the thing was going away, I didn't have the heart to ground her. I've been making fun of it as much as possible so she might decide to get rid of it. Her nickname this week has been "Freakshow". ha ha Anyway, I'm very happy this thing has been settled, and I can look at CJ again without vomiting in my mouth. Just the thought of her sticking a safety pin all the way through her lower lip freaks me out. BLURGHGHGHGH.
Wednesday morning, I put the baby in her carseat, and walk her across the yard to the babysitter. Because we weren't going in the car, I didn't strap her in. Now, most days, we do go in the car so she is strapped in...but not that day. The babysitter didn't realize she wasn't strapped in as she had a blanket over her. She put the carseat, with baby in it, on a little kiddie table so she could feed her oatmeal. Baby sat up, car seat tipped over, baby fell out onto floor and got a gash in her head. Babysitter freaked out, sent her son to get me. I came, freaked out, rushed baby to the ER. I am the worst mother ever. The babysitter was crying. I called Alan to come to the ER which is right next door to his work. He was up there with me and the baby. She had to have a CAT scan, which came out normal, and then she had to get four stitches in the top of her head. This is the first time I've ever been responsible for an injury to one of my kids. I felt so terrible about it. On the other hand, I know how blessed we were, and how bad it MIGHT have been. There will be a scar, but her hair will cover it up. She didn't get a concussion, or break her neck. It could have been so much worse. She will never be in that carseat without being firmly strapped in again...I don't care if the carseat is resting on a pile of clouds that's covering a mound of fluffy cotton. It was so sad to see such a little thing getting a shot in her head, and having to be stitched up. She is totally getting a free pass on something when she's a teenager. One free pass. "Okay, you pierced your lip? Well, I did cause that head injury when you were a baby, so let's take you to get a diamond studded post...Would you like a matching tattoo? No, seriously, whatever you want...just pick it out and tell me." Poor little thing. She's still just smiling away. Talk about rubbing the guilt in to me...
So that was yesterday morning. Yesterday evening, CJ dropped a glass on the kitchen floor, and it broke. As I was cleaning up her nasty, pus-filled lip, thinking that she'd cleaned up the glass, her brother went flying through the kitchen, and cut his toe on a piece of the glass that she had, in fact, NOT cleaned up. I was confronted with a hysterical, five year old boy whose foot was bleeding PROFUSELY all over the floor. "Mommy! Is all my blood going to come out?" he asked while big teardrops rolled down his chubby little cheeks. I assured him that it wouldn't. I put CJ and her pus-filled lip hole to the side, and mopped him up. It turned out to be the tiniest scratch. I don't know how it bled so dang much! Unbelievable! So, yeah, I need a medic. I need one to come live with me so I don't have to deal with things like this because the fact is, I suck at this. Pus, gashes, blood, needles=VOMIT!!! I'm like, "Oh, you cut your foot off? Let me hand you the hydrogen peroxide. Let me know when you're done." "What? You stuck your hand in a fire and have 3rd degree burns? Uh, I know I've got some triple-antibiotic around here somewhere. You're gonna take it and just dab some on with a Q-tip. Let me know when you're done." Neat-O.
Love, Confusia
Dear Confusia,
Please never make me read anything like that again.
Thanks,
Terps
ha ha ha ha Everyone's recovering nicely, though.-Confusia
I am writing this to you using a very appropriate color to describe the events that have transpired this week. This may bore you as it is largely about kid trauma, or it may just make you giddy that you have no kids...Either way, here goes...
Monday afternoon, I came home from work, and Confusia Jr. (CJ) told me that sh'es going to be hanging out in her room by herself most of the evening because she has to rest up and relax to prepare for the TAKS test which begins Tuesday. I bought it. Later that evening, we went up to Wal-Mart for cat food or something, and we decided to eat at Subway because it was getting late. I asked CJ something, and she responded with her hand in her mouth. I was like, "WTH?" So I said, "CJ, take your hand out of your mouth. I can't understand you." She said, "Why?" I said, "I can't understand you." She again said, "Why?" I said, "Because I said so. How's that?" Very slowly, she took her hand out of her mouth, and everything became clear. She had a large, gnarly safety pin hanging out of her lip. Yes, my twelve-year old had brilliantly decided to pierce her lower lip with a nasty, old safety pin before I got home from work. I said, "Out. Take it out." She tried to argue, then she took off for the bathroom. I followed and made sure she took it out. Gross. Good God!!! Anyway, afterwards, I was talking about it with Alan (I will explain more on that later) he suggested that we let her leave it in. He said, "If it's a matter of choosing your battles, well, so she leaves it in, it gets infected, she learns her lesson... If you make it into an issue, it's just going to make her want it even more." Well, I saw the sense in that, so I told her she could choose to leave it in for at least a week, or be grounded for a week. She chose to leave it in for a week. Of course, her school made her take it out, so she's been taking it out and putting it back in. She began begging us to get her a post so it would be permanent. I was considering caving in on it, but last night she came to me and said, "Mom. I really want to take it out. It hurts, and I think it's infected. I'm really, really sorry, and I won't ever do it again. I promise." I was so relieved to hear the thing was going away, I didn't have the heart to ground her. I've been making fun of it as much as possible so she might decide to get rid of it. Her nickname this week has been "Freakshow". ha ha Anyway, I'm very happy this thing has been settled, and I can look at CJ again without vomiting in my mouth. Just the thought of her sticking a safety pin all the way through her lower lip freaks me out. BLURGHGHGHGH.
Wednesday morning, I put the baby in her carseat, and walk her across the yard to the babysitter. Because we weren't going in the car, I didn't strap her in. Now, most days, we do go in the car so she is strapped in...but not that day. The babysitter didn't realize she wasn't strapped in as she had a blanket over her. She put the carseat, with baby in it, on a little kiddie table so she could feed her oatmeal. Baby sat up, car seat tipped over, baby fell out onto floor and got a gash in her head. Babysitter freaked out, sent her son to get me. I came, freaked out, rushed baby to the ER. I am the worst mother ever. The babysitter was crying. I called Alan to come to the ER which is right next door to his work. He was up there with me and the baby. She had to have a CAT scan, which came out normal, and then she had to get four stitches in the top of her head. This is the first time I've ever been responsible for an injury to one of my kids. I felt so terrible about it. On the other hand, I know how blessed we were, and how bad it MIGHT have been. There will be a scar, but her hair will cover it up. She didn't get a concussion, or break her neck. It could have been so much worse. She will never be in that carseat without being firmly strapped in again...I don't care if the carseat is resting on a pile of clouds that's covering a mound of fluffy cotton. It was so sad to see such a little thing getting a shot in her head, and having to be stitched up. She is totally getting a free pass on something when she's a teenager. One free pass. "Okay, you pierced your lip? Well, I did cause that head injury when you were a baby, so let's take you to get a diamond studded post...Would you like a matching tattoo? No, seriously, whatever you want...just pick it out and tell me." Poor little thing. She's still just smiling away. Talk about rubbing the guilt in to me...
So that was yesterday morning. Yesterday evening, CJ dropped a glass on the kitchen floor, and it broke. As I was cleaning up her nasty, pus-filled lip, thinking that she'd cleaned up the glass, her brother went flying through the kitchen, and cut his toe on a piece of the glass that she had, in fact, NOT cleaned up. I was confronted with a hysterical, five year old boy whose foot was bleeding PROFUSELY all over the floor. "Mommy! Is all my blood going to come out?" he asked while big teardrops rolled down his chubby little cheeks. I assured him that it wouldn't. I put CJ and her pus-filled lip hole to the side, and mopped him up. It turned out to be the tiniest scratch. I don't know how it bled so dang much! Unbelievable! So, yeah, I need a medic. I need one to come live with me so I don't have to deal with things like this because the fact is, I suck at this. Pus, gashes, blood, needles=VOMIT!!! I'm like, "Oh, you cut your foot off? Let me hand you the hydrogen peroxide. Let me know when you're done." "What? You stuck your hand in a fire and have 3rd degree burns? Uh, I know I've got some triple-antibiotic around here somewhere. You're gonna take it and just dab some on with a Q-tip. Let me know when you're done." Neat-O.
Love, Confusia
Dear Confusia,
Please never make me read anything like that again.
Thanks,
Terps
ha ha ha ha Everyone's recovering nicely, though.-Confusia
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