Dearest Confusia,
I have to be honest with you. As much as I am so glad that today is the last day until vacation, I am so dreading it because I know it will be a complete and total cluster fuck. This is just one of the things about today that reminds me what a nightmare the school system is. We got an email two weeks ago EXPLICITLY reminding us that today is a SCHOOL DAY and should be treating as one. The students should be engaged in learning activities in every class, blah, blah, blah. Well, yesterday we got one saying that are grades are dur by 8:00 AM. That means they are due right now. So, despite the fact that today is a school day, we can't expect the kids to do anything we might want to take a grade on? WTF? I went to my attendance clerk and told her that I have students turning in projects all the way until 3:55 this afternoon and there was no way I could have my grades done by 8, unless they want me to give everyone incompletes and then go back and change the grades later. WTF? Seriously. Oh, and I have lots of other shit to bitch about, but I haven't the time right now. Later....I promise.
Terps
Ok, I shall continue. We were told that we didn't have to come into work tomorrow if we had everything done by the end of the day today. Well, clearly if we have all of our grades in by 8 this morning (haha) then we shouldn't have anything left to do, right? So all in all it seems like a good gig. We don't have to work tomorrow. But wait...there's more. Turns out that we have a meeting after school in which we have to go over every single student, one by one, and determing if she needs to be on a contract, if she is doing fine on her own, or if we need to go through the dismissal process. REALLY? Every girl? Do you have any idea how long that'll take? I have a guess....FOREVER!
Wow, that really blows. We actually have school today and tomorrow with no early dismissal. That blows, too. I got a call from Confusia, Jr.'s school this morning asking me why she was absent today. Only problem, I dropped her off at school today. She decided to leave with this little male heathen she thinks is her boyfriend. I asked them to transfer me to the campus policeman. I spoke with him, telling him he might want to run by my house to see if they were there, and if they were to just put the fear of God into them. He laughed and said he would. I got a call back a bit later saying he'd found them. Confusia, Jr. doesn't know what kind of hell her life will be tonight, I guarantee you. I am beyond pissed at her. She said, "But we weren't doing anything." Like that makes it all okay. Like skipping school with some little asshole is alright because they weren't "doing anything". Where's my proof of that, anyway? I'm not kidding. She is in for a seriously UNGODLY amount of shit from me when I get him. She only thought getting reamed over the phone in her AP's office was uncomfortable. Why doesn't CPS allow torture? That's my question for today. Teenagers suck ass...
-Confusia
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Friday, December 12, 2008
Another year, another staff party, another chance to be an ass...
Dearest Confusia,
So funny to log on here and see that you started a blog with this title. I might have mentioned to you yesterday that our staff party is tomorrow night. I guess I'm going to go, but I'm less excited about it than I was last year. I think the reason I'm less excited about it is that there aren't as many wild and weird types (such as ourselves) so I have to carry the weight of the whole group, ya know? Anyway, last year I went to the party equipped with my two favorite party items, guacamole and vodka. Sadly, I didn't bring enough of either. I guess this year I will at least be better prepared. I have to come up with a white elephant gift as well. Last year, I brought what I thought was the best possible white elephant gift. It was a stocking filled with all of the "Greatest Teacher" type ornaments that I have received over the last ten years. Sadly, that's not something I can repeat again for another ten years. Any ideas? In fact, that's the questions I have for all of our loyal readers (or any random person who happens on here). What should my white elephant gift be for our faculty party?
Also, this morning, I sat in the cafeteria during the choirs' performances thinking about how I couldn't wait to get in here to tell you all about it. First off, our choir director is a complete and total bitch. Even the other teachers here at school are afraid of her. Though there is some part of me that admires how fucking mean she is, I'm too scared of her to study her for pointers. Anway, the girls walked onto the stage and they have choir dresses this year. Well, none of the other kids had seen them in their choir dresses yet so they were all clapping and cheering about how nice the girls looked. To add to that, the choir girls were all beaming and waving at their friends and all. It was a really sweet moment, ya know? Then Choir Director Hitler gets on the mic and says, "We can't perform until we have appropriate audience behavior. This is a choir concert, not a football game." So, there is a stunned silence that falls over the crowd. Even the teachers (who are used to her anti-social ways...btw, she's our social committee director, oh the irony) were taken aback by her harshness. Anyway, they precede to do their performance and it occurred to me that there are two things that seem to happen at every choir concert ever. First, there is always one song in which they use sign language. I don't know for sure, but do you think a lot of deaf people attend public school choir concerts? I'm not deaf, but if I was, I don't think I'd get a lot of joy out of watching people sing. And then the other thing that they always do is some kind of choreographed "dance routine" which involved Jazz Hands and a shuffle to the left then a shuffle to the right. I decided as I was sitting in that cafeteria this morning watching those girls do that little dance routine that that is the exact reason why I would have never tried out for choir. (That in the fact that I'm tone deaf.)
It's FRIDAY!!!!!
Love, Terps
BTW, I've seen the photos. Wow...
Dear Terps,
I 've never met the Choir Director and I admire the hell out of her...ha ha No. Not really. There's a fine line between being mean to kids the way WE are mean to kids, and just being a bitch. Like, if I'm lining up the kids in I.S.S., and I say, "Okay, Delinquents, get in line." It's funny. Or, remember when our favorite student got stuck when he fashioned his own shirt into a makeshift straitjacket and we stood over him and laughed? That's funny. Getting Third Reich on a group of kids for cheering for their choir buddies is just being, well, a Nazi.
Yes, it's Faculty Christmas Party time once again. Last year, I got pretty well smashed. I believe I will try to show a little more restraint this year. However, we've got some good drinkers attending, so competition for most drunk should get pretty stiff. I love my co-workers. God Bless 'em. There's the self-titled "Drunken Debutante". My principal, who thinks he can be more of a karaoke queen than me, the science teacher who dresses her baby in pirate print diapers....I love them all. You should come to OUR staff party, because it's gonna be awesome.
As for White Elephant gifts..I don't really think you could top the bag full of "Teacher" ornaments. I've got a bunch of those weighing down my own tree at home, as a matter of fact. Isn't it funny how they're always made of the heaviest materials? I've got several five pound ceramic ornaments... They're the knuckle-draggers of the tree. If you want to go with a teacher themed gift, perhaps a scrapbook of "artwork" given to you by students? Fashioned into some kind of coffee table book, of course. If you want to get a bit naughty, I would say a bottle of K-Y should do the trick. My very favorite white elephant gifts, though, are the ceramic masterpieces that you can find at your corner Big Lots. You know what I'm talking about...Two foot tall ceramic orchids covered with a mauve glaze. Garden gnomes where the assembly line face painter slashed on a line of red, and two black dots and missed the mouth and eyes completely. Large vases with the glaze drizzled (ie. slopped) down the sides in shades of burnt orange and sunny yellow. Mariachi frogs, harmonica playing angels, rasta Saints, etc. Fucking brilliant.
On another note, you've gone and made me hungry for Guacamole. I think I told you that the doctor has told me to reduce the amount of sodium in my diet because of my blood pressure, right? It is unbelievably difficult. Last night, I was trying to make a nice broccoli stir fry using only onion, garlic and pepper for seasoning. While letting it cook, I was washing the dishes. Well, Confusia, Jr. comes up to the stove, and starts stirring, and then, I swear it was like slow motion...I look over as she's splashing some soy sauce into the pan...I was reaching out to grab the soy sauce, and shouting, "NNOOOOOOO!" but I was too late. She got the soy sauce into the stir fry. She says, "What?" I replied, "You can't put the soy sauce in there! It's loaded with sodium. It's got, like, a million grams of salt in it!" She says, "No way. It's just a little bit. How much could it have?" She looked at the nutrition information. One tablespoon of soy sauce contains 43% of the RDA of sodium for a 2,000 calorie per day diet. How...the FUCK...do you cram that much salt into a TABLESPOON??? Why call it soy sauce? I think they should cut the bullshit, and just call it salt sauce. SERIOUSLY!!! 43%!!! So, of course, I ate the broccoli anyway, because hell, that was dinner, and I was hungry. I think I'll run to the store at lunchtime and get some avocadoes and just make some homemade guacamole right at my desk. It will be like when the waiters come to your table and make it fresh right there. I can make it without salt, but the challenge will be finding something to put the guacamole on...Tortilla chips have lots of sodium. Celery is gross. Maybe I'll just lick it off of my fingers...lol. Like that's never happened before...ha ha
Love, Confusia
PS I keep trying to write a profile for Phil, but every time I see the picture, I can't stop laughing...Holy Shit, that's so freakin' hilarious!!!
So funny to log on here and see that you started a blog with this title. I might have mentioned to you yesterday that our staff party is tomorrow night. I guess I'm going to go, but I'm less excited about it than I was last year. I think the reason I'm less excited about it is that there aren't as many wild and weird types (such as ourselves) so I have to carry the weight of the whole group, ya know? Anyway, last year I went to the party equipped with my two favorite party items, guacamole and vodka. Sadly, I didn't bring enough of either. I guess this year I will at least be better prepared. I have to come up with a white elephant gift as well. Last year, I brought what I thought was the best possible white elephant gift. It was a stocking filled with all of the "Greatest Teacher" type ornaments that I have received over the last ten years. Sadly, that's not something I can repeat again for another ten years. Any ideas? In fact, that's the questions I have for all of our loyal readers (or any random person who happens on here). What should my white elephant gift be for our faculty party?
Also, this morning, I sat in the cafeteria during the choirs' performances thinking about how I couldn't wait to get in here to tell you all about it. First off, our choir director is a complete and total bitch. Even the other teachers here at school are afraid of her. Though there is some part of me that admires how fucking mean she is, I'm too scared of her to study her for pointers. Anway, the girls walked onto the stage and they have choir dresses this year. Well, none of the other kids had seen them in their choir dresses yet so they were all clapping and cheering about how nice the girls looked. To add to that, the choir girls were all beaming and waving at their friends and all. It was a really sweet moment, ya know? Then Choir Director Hitler gets on the mic and says, "We can't perform until we have appropriate audience behavior. This is a choir concert, not a football game." So, there is a stunned silence that falls over the crowd. Even the teachers (who are used to her anti-social ways...btw, she's our social committee director, oh the irony) were taken aback by her harshness. Anyway, they precede to do their performance and it occurred to me that there are two things that seem to happen at every choir concert ever. First, there is always one song in which they use sign language. I don't know for sure, but do you think a lot of deaf people attend public school choir concerts? I'm not deaf, but if I was, I don't think I'd get a lot of joy out of watching people sing. And then the other thing that they always do is some kind of choreographed "dance routine" which involved Jazz Hands and a shuffle to the left then a shuffle to the right. I decided as I was sitting in that cafeteria this morning watching those girls do that little dance routine that that is the exact reason why I would have never tried out for choir. (That in the fact that I'm tone deaf.)
It's FRIDAY!!!!!
Love, Terps
BTW, I've seen the photos. Wow...
Dear Terps,
I 've never met the Choir Director and I admire the hell out of her...ha ha No. Not really. There's a fine line between being mean to kids the way WE are mean to kids, and just being a bitch. Like, if I'm lining up the kids in I.S.S., and I say, "Okay, Delinquents, get in line." It's funny. Or, remember when our favorite student got stuck when he fashioned his own shirt into a makeshift straitjacket and we stood over him and laughed? That's funny. Getting Third Reich on a group of kids for cheering for their choir buddies is just being, well, a Nazi.
Yes, it's Faculty Christmas Party time once again. Last year, I got pretty well smashed. I believe I will try to show a little more restraint this year. However, we've got some good drinkers attending, so competition for most drunk should get pretty stiff. I love my co-workers. God Bless 'em. There's the self-titled "Drunken Debutante". My principal, who thinks he can be more of a karaoke queen than me, the science teacher who dresses her baby in pirate print diapers....I love them all. You should come to OUR staff party, because it's gonna be awesome.
As for White Elephant gifts..I don't really think you could top the bag full of "Teacher" ornaments. I've got a bunch of those weighing down my own tree at home, as a matter of fact. Isn't it funny how they're always made of the heaviest materials? I've got several five pound ceramic ornaments... They're the knuckle-draggers of the tree. If you want to go with a teacher themed gift, perhaps a scrapbook of "artwork" given to you by students? Fashioned into some kind of coffee table book, of course. If you want to get a bit naughty, I would say a bottle of K-Y should do the trick. My very favorite white elephant gifts, though, are the ceramic masterpieces that you can find at your corner Big Lots. You know what I'm talking about...Two foot tall ceramic orchids covered with a mauve glaze. Garden gnomes where the assembly line face painter slashed on a line of red, and two black dots and missed the mouth and eyes completely. Large vases with the glaze drizzled (ie. slopped) down the sides in shades of burnt orange and sunny yellow. Mariachi frogs, harmonica playing angels, rasta Saints, etc. Fucking brilliant.
On another note, you've gone and made me hungry for Guacamole. I think I told you that the doctor has told me to reduce the amount of sodium in my diet because of my blood pressure, right? It is unbelievably difficult. Last night, I was trying to make a nice broccoli stir fry using only onion, garlic and pepper for seasoning. While letting it cook, I was washing the dishes. Well, Confusia, Jr. comes up to the stove, and starts stirring, and then, I swear it was like slow motion...I look over as she's splashing some soy sauce into the pan...I was reaching out to grab the soy sauce, and shouting, "NNOOOOOOO!" but I was too late. She got the soy sauce into the stir fry. She says, "What?" I replied, "You can't put the soy sauce in there! It's loaded with sodium. It's got, like, a million grams of salt in it!" She says, "No way. It's just a little bit. How much could it have?" She looked at the nutrition information. One tablespoon of soy sauce contains 43% of the RDA of sodium for a 2,000 calorie per day diet. How...the FUCK...do you cram that much salt into a TABLESPOON??? Why call it soy sauce? I think they should cut the bullshit, and just call it salt sauce. SERIOUSLY!!! 43%!!! So, of course, I ate the broccoli anyway, because hell, that was dinner, and I was hungry. I think I'll run to the store at lunchtime and get some avocadoes and just make some homemade guacamole right at my desk. It will be like when the waiters come to your table and make it fresh right there. I can make it without salt, but the challenge will be finding something to put the guacamole on...Tortilla chips have lots of sodium. Celery is gross. Maybe I'll just lick it off of my fingers...lol. Like that's never happened before...ha ha
Love, Confusia
PS I keep trying to write a profile for Phil, but every time I see the picture, I can't stop laughing...Holy Shit, that's so freakin' hilarious!!!
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Words to Live By...
Hey Terps,
I have to share this with you. We had a kid get busted for tagging a desk with gang graffitti, and I had him write about it. This is what he wrote. I think you'll find it....instructive.
Gangs are bad because if you go to someone else's territorie they can shoot you and you can die. I'm sorry that I wrote on your table putting VC I'm really sorry I just felt like writing stuff on table's but the gangs there not good there nothing it will change your life really bad stay away from them make it to college don't be in the street killing people don't do drugs there bad for you it can mess you up the blue, red, yellow, brown, and green are the bad colors the safe color is black so don't go to the streets With them gangs stay in school until you graduate. Taging is bad to if you do it on trains tunnel or other places and you get caught you have to pay a five hundred dollar fine.
Terps, I'd like to nominate the second sentence of this paragraph as the longest sentence in the history of the world. You know what else this is? A bunch of BS. Seriously. This is a kid telling me what he thinks I want to hear. He doesn't mean any of it. I mean, you can tell how much education means to him, right? By the time I was this kid's age I was reading Gone With the Wind and The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn. Now granted, I'm a flipping genius, but still...
Has this kid ever been introduced to punctuation? He did manage to spell most of the words correctly, which is amazing...Sometimes, public education is so damn depressing.
Love, Confusia
Dear Confusia,
Being a public school teacher is bad, because if you go into somebody else's classroom, and ask them to shoot you, no matter how nice you are or how much you whine, they just won't do it. They like to see you suffer. Misery loves company. I'm sorry that I wrote on my application that I "like children" and think that being a public educator would "make a difference". I see now that I was just an idiot in desperate need of income. Let me lay it on the line for you, being a teacher is not good, it's real bad, it'll change your life but for the worst not the best, sometimes you'll think to yourself, "Did I really go to college for this?" and then you'll either start laughing hysterically or bawling and you won't know how to stop and then you'll probably get sucked into taking drugs just to make it through the day, you'll probably start with something like alcohol which you will sneak into your coffee and/or water bottle then the next thing you know your like Ms. Gerhauser, my high school French teacher, who go fired because she was caught shooting up heroin in the teacher's lounge, or at least that kind of rumor will circulate about you and you'll wish that your life was that fucking interesting, but no, you're just a middle school language arts teacher who sometimes comes to school wearing two different shoes because they are similar in appearance and you were half asleep when you left your house and didn't notice until you were standing in front of the class that one of them was brown and the other navy blue, but thankfully both of those are safe colors because they are neutrals, plus none of the kids is paying any attention to you anyway so you could be naked or dressed like a clown and they wouldn't notice. In other words, being a teacher is bad, and if you do anything like drink and drive or kill a kid or something (both of which this field can make you want to do) you might have to pay a fine or something.
Sincerely,
Ms. Terps
P.S. I tried really hard with the run-on sentences. I think my punctuation might be too good though. Sorry!
Yeah, it's hard to be bad on purpose when you're a flipping genius.
Overall, though, I think your essay is outstanding. So, where in the downward spiral are you, Terps? I haven't made it to the alcohol in the coffee stage yet, but I am at the "leave on my lunchbreak to go shoot up the nicotine" stage....ha ha
I haven't made it to any of those yet, nor do I have on two different shoes, but it's the kind of thing I could actually imagine happening. Thankfully testing will be over in 10 minutes and then I will be free from 10:45-12:40. (I love it when my planning period butts up to lunch!) I'm so OVER educating the youth of America...
Speaking of scandalous stuff...What have you been up to lately??? I miss the baseball euphemisms. You need to go do something naughty ASAP! We're getting too boring up in here.
I have to share this with you. We had a kid get busted for tagging a desk with gang graffitti, and I had him write about it. This is what he wrote. I think you'll find it....instructive.
Gangs are bad because if you go to someone else's territorie they can shoot you and you can die. I'm sorry that I wrote on your table putting VC I'm really sorry I just felt like writing stuff on table's but the gangs there not good there nothing it will change your life really bad stay away from them make it to college don't be in the street killing people don't do drugs there bad for you it can mess you up the blue, red, yellow, brown, and green are the bad colors the safe color is black so don't go to the streets With them gangs stay in school until you graduate. Taging is bad to if you do it on trains tunnel or other places and you get caught you have to pay a five hundred dollar fine.
Terps, I'd like to nominate the second sentence of this paragraph as the longest sentence in the history of the world. You know what else this is? A bunch of BS. Seriously. This is a kid telling me what he thinks I want to hear. He doesn't mean any of it. I mean, you can tell how much education means to him, right? By the time I was this kid's age I was reading Gone With the Wind and The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn. Now granted, I'm a flipping genius, but still...
Has this kid ever been introduced to punctuation? He did manage to spell most of the words correctly, which is amazing...Sometimes, public education is so damn depressing.
Love, Confusia
Dear Confusia,
Being a public school teacher is bad, because if you go into somebody else's classroom, and ask them to shoot you, no matter how nice you are or how much you whine, they just won't do it. They like to see you suffer. Misery loves company. I'm sorry that I wrote on my application that I "like children" and think that being a public educator would "make a difference". I see now that I was just an idiot in desperate need of income. Let me lay it on the line for you, being a teacher is not good, it's real bad, it'll change your life but for the worst not the best, sometimes you'll think to yourself, "Did I really go to college for this?" and then you'll either start laughing hysterically or bawling and you won't know how to stop and then you'll probably get sucked into taking drugs just to make it through the day, you'll probably start with something like alcohol which you will sneak into your coffee and/or water bottle then the next thing you know your like Ms. Gerhauser, my high school French teacher, who go fired because she was caught shooting up heroin in the teacher's lounge, or at least that kind of rumor will circulate about you and you'll wish that your life was that fucking interesting, but no, you're just a middle school language arts teacher who sometimes comes to school wearing two different shoes because they are similar in appearance and you were half asleep when you left your house and didn't notice until you were standing in front of the class that one of them was brown and the other navy blue, but thankfully both of those are safe colors because they are neutrals, plus none of the kids is paying any attention to you anyway so you could be naked or dressed like a clown and they wouldn't notice. In other words, being a teacher is bad, and if you do anything like drink and drive or kill a kid or something (both of which this field can make you want to do) you might have to pay a fine or something.
Sincerely,
Ms. Terps
P.S. I tried really hard with the run-on sentences. I think my punctuation might be too good though. Sorry!
Yeah, it's hard to be bad on purpose when you're a flipping genius.
Overall, though, I think your essay is outstanding. So, where in the downward spiral are you, Terps? I haven't made it to the alcohol in the coffee stage yet, but I am at the "leave on my lunchbreak to go shoot up the nicotine" stage....ha ha
I haven't made it to any of those yet, nor do I have on two different shoes, but it's the kind of thing I could actually imagine happening. Thankfully testing will be over in 10 minutes and then I will be free from 10:45-12:40. (I love it when my planning period butts up to lunch!) I'm so OVER educating the youth of America...
Speaking of scandalous stuff...What have you been up to lately??? I miss the baseball euphemisms. You need to go do something naughty ASAP! We're getting too boring up in here.
Friday, December 5, 2008
Snatchdotcom
Dear Terps,
I was just over at snatch dot com, and it seems we are needed over there. I'll do some work on it today. Can you do a post or two also?
Love, Confusia
Dear Confusia,
I just did a few more. Then I went back and read some old ones. Hehehehe!
Love, Terps
P.S. Why don't we add it to our genuis blogs we love list (of one)?
I was just over at snatch dot com, and it seems we are needed over there. I'll do some work on it today. Can you do a post or two also?
Love, Confusia
Dear Confusia,
I just did a few more. Then I went back and read some old ones. Hehehehe!
Love, Terps
P.S. Why don't we add it to our genuis blogs we love list (of one)?
Interesting Trivia
Hey Terps,
I was looking at the different tags we have for our blog posts, and I came up with this very interesting little factoid...
We have only four words that are used as tags TWICE on this blog. All other words are used only once as tags. So what are the four words we have used twice, you ask?
Booty Call
Freakshow
Grease
Belly up
What the hell kind of stuff do we talk about on this thing??? ha ha ha ha ha
btw... WHERE ARE YOU, TERPS??? Have your students finally taken over your classroom and feasted on your flesh??? Please contact me soon, or I'm calling DaThug!
Dearest Confusia,
So sorry I wasn't here Friday. Sadly, I had a workshop to attend. I also think I got food poisoning that afternoon as I spent most of the evening from 3 until midnight throwing up. In fact, they sent me home from the Warehouse because I had to go dry heave in the bathroom every 15 minutes or so. It was awesome. I loved it. I was MUCH better on Saturday, but then after eating dinner last night, the pukefest started again. Thankfully, we only have TWO WEEKS of school left so I have everything planned in such a way that the girls have to work, but I don't. Hopefully, I can concentrate on keeping this morning's Luna Bar down and, of course, blogging today.
More later!
Love, Terps
I was looking at the different tags we have for our blog posts, and I came up with this very interesting little factoid...
We have only four words that are used as tags TWICE on this blog. All other words are used only once as tags. So what are the four words we have used twice, you ask?
Booty Call
Freakshow
Grease
Belly up
What the hell kind of stuff do we talk about on this thing??? ha ha ha ha ha
btw... WHERE ARE YOU, TERPS??? Have your students finally taken over your classroom and feasted on your flesh??? Please contact me soon, or I'm calling DaThug!
Dearest Confusia,
So sorry I wasn't here Friday. Sadly, I had a workshop to attend. I also think I got food poisoning that afternoon as I spent most of the evening from 3 until midnight throwing up. In fact, they sent me home from the Warehouse because I had to go dry heave in the bathroom every 15 minutes or so. It was awesome. I loved it. I was MUCH better on Saturday, but then after eating dinner last night, the pukefest started again. Thankfully, we only have TWO WEEKS of school left so I have everything planned in such a way that the girls have to work, but I don't. Hopefully, I can concentrate on keeping this morning's Luna Bar down and, of course, blogging today.
More later!
Love, Terps
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Oh, Fuck It...
Dear Terps,
I thought I might be able to come up with something to write other than that children are the spawn of Satan, which is something that we both already know. However, now that I'm trying to come up with the great idea du jour, I'm finding myself stymied. Oh wait, how about we do a list of things we hate...pet peeves and what not...This might be a good way to vent. My list won't be in order.
Things I hate: by Confusia
1. Seafood
2. Stupid people
a. Bush
b. Right wing pundits, etc.
3. Paying bills. When the fuck do you get to stop paying bills? Never! You have to die first. So you finally get rid of bills, but to do it, you have to stop breathing...
4. Dumbass kids who act like shit.
5. Not being able to do everything I want. While this is probably good for me in some way, I still don't have to like it.
6. Not going home to find Adrien Brody, or any other equally favored celebrity crush naked in my bed.
7. Not being a size 6. I'd settle for a size 9...
8. Not being rich.
9. Heaters and Air conditioners that don't work properly or in their appropriate season.
10. Wool sweaters or turtlenecks.
11. Bristle brushes. these all need to be consigned to the depths of hell ASAP!
12. fingernail files. Same reason as bristle brushes. I HATE the way they sound.
13. Laundry. I hate doing laundry. It's never fucking done. It's like bills. You get to stop when you die, or when you join the nudist colony, maybe...
14. Children who are independently wealthy without ever having to work a gd day in their lives. This is not fair. This is so unfair that it should be illegal.
That's about it for right now. There are alot more, but these irritating little shits right now must be supervised every second or they'll be gnawing on the desks...
Why can't you just tell them to shut the fuck up??? Just once!!!
I thought I might be able to come up with something to write other than that children are the spawn of Satan, which is something that we both already know. However, now that I'm trying to come up with the great idea du jour, I'm finding myself stymied. Oh wait, how about we do a list of things we hate...pet peeves and what not...This might be a good way to vent. My list won't be in order.
Things I hate: by Confusia
1. Seafood
2. Stupid people
a. Bush
b. Right wing pundits, etc.
3. Paying bills. When the fuck do you get to stop paying bills? Never! You have to die first. So you finally get rid of bills, but to do it, you have to stop breathing...
4. Dumbass kids who act like shit.
5. Not being able to do everything I want. While this is probably good for me in some way, I still don't have to like it.
6. Not going home to find Adrien Brody, or any other equally favored celebrity crush naked in my bed.
7. Not being a size 6. I'd settle for a size 9...
8. Not being rich.
9. Heaters and Air conditioners that don't work properly or in their appropriate season.
10. Wool sweaters or turtlenecks.
11. Bristle brushes. these all need to be consigned to the depths of hell ASAP!
12. fingernail files. Same reason as bristle brushes. I HATE the way they sound.
13. Laundry. I hate doing laundry. It's never fucking done. It's like bills. You get to stop when you die, or when you join the nudist colony, maybe...
14. Children who are independently wealthy without ever having to work a gd day in their lives. This is not fair. This is so unfair that it should be illegal.
That's about it for right now. There are alot more, but these irritating little shits right now must be supervised every second or they'll be gnawing on the desks...
Why can't you just tell them to shut the fuck up??? Just once!!!
Dearest Confusia,
I would say that this could be it's own blog, not just a blog entry, but here goes some of mine:
1. Cold weather....HATE IT! I never complain about how hot it gets in summer EVER, because I have found that it takes a lot longer to warm up than to cool off.
2. This idiotic work schedule in which the powers that be think we can actually accomplish anything between Thanksgiving and Christmas.
3. Traffic
4. Waking up to the sound of an alarm clock.
5. Wasting time to come up with interesting lessons and then the only reward you receive is someone saying, "Why do we have to do this?"
6. Scheduling time for my classes to go to the computer lab to work on a project TWO MONTHS ago and having another teacher ask me, "So, do you really need to be in the lab on Thursday? Because it'd really help me out if you'd let me use your time."
7. Having groups of adults from other schools come in and out of my classroom to "observe and respond" all fucking morning long.
(Is it obvious I'm having a lousy day at work? At least I have a workshop tomorrow and I'm off campus!!!!!)
Love ya,
Terps
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