Where the Hell is Terpsichore?

Hello? Anyone out there? I'm talking about you, Terpsichore!
Alright. Well, I'll start then.
Dear Terps,
How is your mother doing? I'm sorry we couldn't get together this weekend. I wish Friday would have worked. My mom told me that the baby was up four times that night, so I'm actually astonished that she didn't call me to pick her up! I'd have called.
I had a decent weekend overall. I went shopping. I got a new pair of shoes, and some new pants, which were desperately needed since my co-workers see me in the same outfits every week. They probably take bets behind my back as to which I'll show up wearing on any particular day.
So this week has been interesting. I haven't had many kids in In-House. I HAVE had, though, a young lady from the Behavioral Intervention unit. She decided that she wanted to be with me all day. That was Monday and Tuesday. Wednesday I taught a few classes to cover for some teachers at inservice...Health and P.E...because I'm not unhealthy or overweight at all. I'd be the natural choice for teaching these two classes. (loud, loud laughter)
HOW TO TEACH HEALTH...by Confusia
Alright, Guys, the first thing you (cough, cough) need to know (coughing fit) is that you should never (hacks up a lung) EVER smoke cigarettes. (clears throat and coughs.) They're really bad for you.
Second thing, be careful about what you eat. (pulls pants back up over muffin top.) You want to really eat healthy foods (takes bite of greasy donut.) and also, get plenty of exercise. (Sits down in chair)

Yeah. Awesome.
How's your week going?
Love, Confusia
Dear Confusia,
You know, that actually reminds me an awful lot of when my elementary school P.E. teacher taught our health unit. The man who thought teaching P.E. meant telling us to run the track while he read the paper, drank coffee, and ate Danishes. Damn I miss him.
My mom is good. I talked to her during lunch today. They have her doing all kinds of exercises (maybe she should teach that class) and junk, but it doesn't seem to be too hard on her.
As for me, I actually posted earlier and then deleted it. I have a date tonight. It'll probably end badly. I don't even know what to wear. Ideas?
Love, Terps
Actually, I forgot to tell you my exciting news earlier. I finally paid off UNT, so I can go back to college now!!!! I've already signed up to take the THEA test again, but will need to study like a crazy person from now til April 25th. I'm really, really happy about this. Almost as happy as I am about the fact you have a date! Nice segue, huh?
So why do you think it'll end badly? It may end up brilliantly. Who knows? You don't want to do some kind of self-fulfilling prophecy. Speaking of shit that ends badly, though...I just spoke with the soon-to-be ex-husband. He decided he wanted to be an a-hole. You know what I did? I was an a-hole right back to him! Isn't that fantastic? I followed that up with, "So that was fun, right. Now, we can either do that kind of thing, or we can be grown-ups who put the children's well-being first. Which plan sounds better to you?" He got better pretty quickly. Apparently he's been hanging out with his ex-girlfriend again...you know, the one who fucked his twin brother, and now they'll never know which twin is the dad of her daughter? Yeah, her. Clearly, he's a hotshot right now because she'll always stand by him, I guess. Better her than me.
Love, Confusia