How Dumb is Confusia?

Dear Terps,

What a day I'm having! The good times are rolling here, let me tell you!

So this morning, I'm doing my morning duty in the gym with a bunch of Spring-Fevered, hormone infested 6th graders, right? Off to my left, I see this girl walk up to a boy and offer him a piece of gum out of a pack. I'm like, "WTF???" I go to her, and I say, "OH, No...There's no gum allowed anywhere on campus. You know this. You've known this since August! What's the problem? She looks really guilty. I take the pack of gum from her and say, "Follow me." I was heading out the gym door to take her to the VP's office, and I say to my morning duty co-worker, "A whole pack of gum, and she's offering it to that kid right in front of me!" My co-worker shakes her head. I look down at the pack of gum, and notice something weird about it. The silver wrapper part sticking out doesn't look bendable...So I think again, "Wtf???" I reach down to pull the stick of gum out, and WHAM! Electric shock. How stupid do I feel at this point?

Well, pretty much like the biggest moron ever! apart from feeling stupid, now I'm also a little more pissed off because my thumb is still tingling. I look at the girl and say, "Let's go." On the way to the office, I ask her if she's been to In-House before, and she says no. So I reply, "So this is just like a bit of a bad judgment day, huh?" She nods.

We get to the VP's office, I show her the pack of gum and tell her what happened, also telling her that the girl hasn't been in trouble before. She looks at the girl and says very sternly, "I'll let you go this time without a consequence since you haven't been in any trouble this year, but next time, there will be. I can't have kids bringing things like this to school and my teachers getting shocked." The girl nodded timidly and left the office. The VP's stern look lasts until just after the girl walks out. She then smiles, and says, "I'm gonna go offer the Principal a piece.", while laughing mischievously. I go with her because I feel entitled now, having been shocked myself.

Of course, he doesn't fall for it, which was a bit disappointing. I would have felt better if someone else had been as dumb as I was, but apparently, I'm the dumbest on the campus.

All in all, though, I have to give props to the girl. She was aiming small, just trying for a joke on a fellow student...instead she snagged the In-School teacher. Kudos.

I am now going to attempt to teach myself how to sit still and not drool at the same time.

Love, Confusia