Confusia Receives An Indecent Proposal : O

Dear Terps, Dear Confusia,
Before I go any further here I shoud tell you that I am so incredibly hungover right now that I feel like I just celebrated Mardi Gras for 14 days straight. Rachel's birthday was Sunday and we went out and it seems I tied one on a bit too much. Criminy, I feel like shit. In other words, bear with me.
So, Sunday morning, I'm eating my breakfast (Oh God! Did you have to mention food???) and minding my own business when there's a knock at my back door. I look up and see that it's one of the neighbors...a 29 year old guy who shall henceforth be known as "Bob". He comes in for a second and is sitting at the table with me and the kids when I get the distinct impression that he wants to speak with me for a moment sans kids. I think maybe he needs a friendly ear, so I go out on the back porch and ask him what's up. He asks me if Mr.C (which leads me to asking what's going on with him?) has been coming over, and how I'm doing, etc. Then he asks, "And what do you think about my next personal question?" I say, "What's that?" (as in, what's the question...) He mumbles something, and I look at him blankly. I repeat, "What's your question?" He says, "I just said it." (It was, apparently, "Can you discern inaudible speech?")
I'm sure you know what the question was. He wanted to know if we could, "have some fun" Like playing Yahtzee? sometimes. AWKWAAAAARD.
Now, he's a good looking guy, and he's a nice guy, so I have to somehow figure out how to turn him down without causing undue hurt feelings, you know? I just said, "Well, I'm really looking for something more than that right now. Or better yet, I'm kind of dealing with a big ol' mess of bullshit and though I'd like to add one more complicating factor to this whole ordeal, I'm going to take a pass...You're a handsome guy, and it makes me feel really good about myself that you'd consider me, but right now, I can't do that." or something to that effect. So he drops it, after asking me to keep the fact that he asked to myself...which clearly I am doing. :) ha ha Wow!
Well, later that evening, I was out on the backporch, and he walks by, and he has a pack of beer (Oh Good God Almighty, did you have to mention beer?), and asked me if I wanted one. I said, "Sure. That's be great, if you don't mind. It's been a day." So I sit outside for a few minutes while we drink a beer. (That's the sound of me wretching...)The kids are out jumping on the trampoline, etc. I go in, get the kids to bed, and he knocks again. He asks me if I want another beer.(For the love of God!) I say, "Wellllll, I guess I could have one more." Then I sit down.
I would like to conduct a survey of you, and any other females who might venture on the blog... I would like to know if a guy has ever said any of the following in order to convince you to go to bed with him for some totally meaningless sex: (CLUE: I've heard them all.)
These will be written as if the guy is saying it...
A. It's just, for me, you know, it's all about making the girl come three or more times. I get off on seeing the girl get off. (Uhm, not for meaningless sex, but I did very seriously date a guy that this was true for...)
B. I just thought that since, you know, you're here, and I'm here, that we could keep each other company for awhile...take care of each other's needs. (Wow, take care of each other's needs. Fucking wow.)
C. So, I hear that you're saying that you can't do it because you'd turn into a neurotic freak within a matter of days, but why can't you just NOT turn into a neurotic freak? I mean, it just is what it is, you know? (If I had a dime for everytime I heard that one...)
D. Well, it's not like I'm making any promises, you know? I mean, I'm telling you the truth, and not trying to make it sound like it's going to lead to anything... (My head just can't handle this right now. Good gravy!)

Yeah. It was a fun conversation for me, I can tell you. I finished my beer(Ugh! Again with the beer? BLAH!), patted him on the back, and said, "Well. Goodnight."
On the plus side, I'm pleased to find out that I'm not yet so hideous that I can't get laid...ha ha
Write back, and soon!
Confusia
Sounds like an interesting weekend. So, are you gonna do him?
Love ya,
Terps
Uh, no. So is Rachel drinking again now? Or did you drink for both of you? ha ha She is drinking in moderation, I apparently am not.