Brilliantly Humiliating Idea!

Confusia,

I was reading some other blogs, and I stumbled across one which lead me to several others of all these people who are food journaling everything they eat in a day. So, I thought that would be a really great idea for us. Not so that we can become more conscious of what we eat, but rather so that we can make these people feel better about themselves should they happen to stumble upon our blog. The blog (entitled Confessions of a Fat Girl...which I think would be a great name for the Beastlie Girl's next LP) is far more in depth than ours (they calculate far more things i.e. calories, fat grams, carbs, proteins, etc), but I think we would be serving humanity well if we listed our daily feedings. We could add to it as need be (which for me today could be a lot! OK, I shall start.

Terps' Food Consumption 04/04/08

Breakfast:
Venti Black Coffee from Starbucks
More than the serving size (by a lot no doubt) of Zapp's Regular Flavor Potato Chips
Calories: A zillion; Fat Grams: Enough

Mid-morning Snack:
Two handfuls (by that I mean giant, meaty man paws) of Starburst Jellybeans
Calories: Good job only eating 2 handfuls; Fat Grams: Jellybeans are a fat-free food.

Lunch:
Two slices low-fat wheat bread
One vegan "chicken" patty
Remainder of bag of Zapps Potato Chips
Calories: None of your fucking business; Fat Grams: Damn, you Zapp's people

Dinner:
I'm working tonight so I shall just drink my weight in booze.
Another round of Jagermeister for me and my thighs!

Um, not sure if this is a good idea. People will gain weight just by reading what I've eaten today, and then they'll hate our blog. But here goes:
Breakfast: Large Diet Coke
Sausage biscuit from McDonald's
Lunch: Large Diet Coke
Personal pepperoni pizza
3 breadsticks
Dinner: (I already know what I'm going to have..)
Bowl of Curves cereal. (Like this will do any good after the massive calories already ingested.)

Net weight gain: 5 pounds from eating this stuff, another 3 from writing it down.
Now then, aren't you sorry you came up with this plan???

And could someone please explain to me why I think that drinking Diet Coke with my meals is doing me any good? "Hi, I'll have the Loaded Big Mac, Cheese Lovers and Pepperoni Foot Long Sub...and can I Supersize that? , and a Diet Coke." Like the drive-thru peeps aren't rolling their eyes at me...
-Confusia
-Confusia