Monday, January 12, 2009

Dysentery Hearts Confusia




Dear Terps,
My weekend was not so hot, although it was the weekend, so it does have that one little upside. I've decided to invest in the companies that make the following products: Pepto Bismol, Pepcid, Nexxium, and Captain Morgan. I swear, my stomach has not been right for two weeks straight. Do you think it might have something to do with stress? Hmm. No way! It would be totally freaking crazy to think that!
So Mr. Confusia was in town this weekend. On. My. Nerves. Finally, last night, I managed to say, "I'm leaning towards continuing on with the divorce." I explained to him that I have some very unfriendly feelings toward him, and that the anger and bitterness is making me feel sick. I told him that I needed my freedom so I could deal with it. I have no problems remaining friends, I just can't be married to him. It was the kind of fun that can only be had when things are as uncomfortable as possible. It went okay, though. I'd had enough of the weekend alternating between shitty comments and come-ons. I mean, not that putting me down isn't an excellent way to get me into bed, but...FUCK! Get REAL!!! He told me he was sorry, and that he's just sexually frustrated, to which I responded, "So? That doesn't give you the right to be an asshole to me." He agreed with me. Anyway, I'm just glad that I've got that off my chest now. Yes. I want a divorce.
Whew...
Confusia Jr. is also causing me major dysentery issues. I caught her smoking the other day. Today, she wore jeans to school even though she knows it's not allowed so she got two more days of In School Suspension. Honestly, I think they should just put up a cot in the ISS room and keep her there 24/7. She's heading that way anyway. My mom asked me today what I thought of maybe sending her to Romania to live with her Aunt Anna for awhile. She said not knowing the language would slow Jr. down a bit. I don't know what to think of this. Honestly, I think she and Anna are so much alike that they'd kill each other within the first 48 hours. I think a much better solution, therefore, would be to send ME to live in Romania for awhile.
Also on the kid front, the baby threw one of my shoes in the toilet last night. What the hell did I ever do to her? She looked up at me and smiled, "Look, Mom! Isn't that great? It's your SHOE!, and it's in the WATER!!!" More Pepto, more Tums, etc. Why is everyone always saying boys are so difficult? Mine is the sweetest little bunnykins ever! ha ha Actually, the baby makes me laugh alot, and she's very good, too, so can't gripe just because she doesn't understand that toilets are disgusting. To her, it's a little wishing well, of sorts.
I want to go home. I don't want to be at work today. Truly. I don't exactly know why...it's not terrible or anything. I just want to go home. Supposed to go out this weekend, so that gives me something to look forward to, and Friday is payday, but I still feel tired. I want to go home, crawl into my soft, warm bed, and read or sleep. Dysentery takes alot out of me.
Love, Confusia
Dear Confusia,
I would write a lot of interesting and witty stuff, but I'm a bit distracted being as how some 40 year old man wandered into our school today, made his way into my classroom while I was at lunch, and stole $66 from my purse. I mean I guess I should be elated that he didn't take my credit cards or identification, but Im still a bit.....uhm, bothered by it.
Terps
Are you serious? How did this guy get in? Why do they always find you??? Were other teachers missing stuff, too?
Yep, I'm serious, sadly. My school shares a building with the Professional Development Center. So, although we have all of these hoops you have to jump through to get into our side of the building, they clearly don't. Unfortunately, we are locked out of their side, but they aren't locked out of ours. Something to do with the fire code. So, he walked in on their side, came over to ours during lunchtime, and walked into 8 classes (or at least that's how many they could see from the cameras we have in our school.) We got $66 from me and $200 from another teacher (who had taken the cash out that morning to go pay some bills that afternoon.) It was neat. It's so much fun teaching for the rest of the afternoon when you feel totally violated. I love this job.

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