Dear Terps,
I am writing this to you using a very appropriate color to describe the events that have transpired this week. This may bore you as it is largely about kid trauma, or it may just make you giddy that you have no kids...Either way, here goes...
Monday afternoon, I came home from work, and Confusia Jr. (CJ) told me that sh'es going to be hanging out in her room by herself most of the evening because she has to rest up and relax to prepare for the TAKS test which begins Tuesday. I bought it. Later that evening, we went up to Wal-Mart for cat food or something, and we decided to eat at Subway because it was getting late. I asked CJ something, and she responded with her hand in her mouth. I was like, "WTH?" So I said, "CJ, take your hand out of your mouth. I can't understand you." She said, "Why?" I said, "I can't understand you." She again said, "Why?" I said, "Because I said so. How's that?" Very slowly, she took her hand out of her mouth, and everything became clear. She had a large, gnarly safety pin hanging out of her lip. Yes, my twelve-year old had brilliantly decided to pierce her lower lip with a nasty, old safety pin before I got home from work. I said, "Out. Take it out." She tried to argue, then she took off for the bathroom. I followed and made sure she took it out. Gross. Good God!!! Anyway, afterwards, I was talking about it with Alan (I will explain more on that later) he suggested that we let her leave it in. He said, "If it's a matter of choosing your battles, well, so she leaves it in, it gets infected, she learns her lesson... If you make it into an issue, it's just going to make her want it even more." Well, I saw the sense in that, so I told her she could choose to leave it in for at least a week, or be grounded for a week. She chose to leave it in for a week. Of course, her school made her take it out, so she's been taking it out and putting it back in. She began begging us to get her a post so it would be permanent. I was considering caving in on it, but last night she came to me and said, "Mom. I really want to take it out. It hurts, and I think it's infected. I'm really, really sorry, and I won't ever do it again. I promise." I was so relieved to hear the thing was going away, I didn't have the heart to ground her. I've been making fun of it as much as possible so she might decide to get rid of it. Her nickname this week has been "Freakshow". ha ha Anyway, I'm very happy this thing has been settled, and I can look at CJ again without vomiting in my mouth. Just the thought of her sticking a safety pin all the way through her lower lip freaks me out. BLURGHGHGHGH.
Wednesday morning, I put the baby in her carseat, and walk her across the yard to the babysitter. Because we weren't going in the car, I didn't strap her in. Now, most days, we do go in the car so she is strapped in...but not that day. The babysitter didn't realize she wasn't strapped in as she had a blanket over her. She put the carseat, with baby in it, on a little kiddie table so she could feed her oatmeal. Baby sat up, car seat tipped over, baby fell out onto floor and got a gash in her head. Babysitter freaked out, sent her son to get me. I came, freaked out, rushed baby to the ER. I am the worst mother ever. The babysitter was crying. I called Alan to come to the ER which is right next door to his work. He was up there with me and the baby. She had to have a CAT scan, which came out normal, and then she had to get four stitches in the top of her head. This is the first time I've ever been responsible for an injury to one of my kids. I felt so terrible about it. On the other hand, I know how blessed we were, and how bad it MIGHT have been. There will be a scar, but her hair will cover it up. She didn't get a concussion, or break her neck. It could have been so much worse. She will never be in that carseat without being firmly strapped in again...I don't care if the carseat is resting on a pile of clouds that's covering a mound of fluffy cotton. It was so sad to see such a little thing getting a shot in her head, and having to be stitched up. She is totally getting a free pass on something when she's a teenager. One free pass. "Okay, you pierced your lip? Well, I did cause that head injury when you were a baby, so let's take you to get a diamond studded post...Would you like a matching tattoo? No, seriously, whatever you want...just pick it out and tell me." Poor little thing. She's still just smiling away. Talk about rubbing the guilt in to me...
So that was yesterday morning. Yesterday evening, CJ dropped a glass on the kitchen floor, and it broke. As I was cleaning up her nasty, pus-filled lip, thinking that she'd cleaned up the glass, her brother went flying through the kitchen, and cut his toe on a piece of the glass that she had, in fact, NOT cleaned up. I was confronted with a hysterical, five year old boy whose foot was bleeding PROFUSELY all over the floor. "Mommy! Is all my blood going to come out?" he asked while big teardrops rolled down his chubby little cheeks. I assured him that it wouldn't. I put CJ and her pus-filled lip hole to the side, and mopped him up. It turned out to be the tiniest scratch. I don't know how it bled so dang much! Unbelievable! So, yeah, I need a medic. I need one to come live with me so I don't have to deal with things like this because the fact is, I suck at this. Pus, gashes, blood, needles=VOMIT!!! I'm like, "Oh, you cut your foot off? Let me hand you the hydrogen peroxide. Let me know when you're done." "What? You stuck your hand in a fire and have 3rd degree burns? Uh, I know I've got some triple-antibiotic around here somewhere. You're gonna take it and just dab some on with a Q-tip. Let me know when you're done." Neat-O.
Love, Confusia
Dear Confusia,
Please never make me read anything like that again.
Thanks,
Terps
ha ha ha ha Everyone's recovering nicely, though.-Confusia
Showing posts with label freakshow. Show all posts
Showing posts with label freakshow. Show all posts
Thursday, May 1, 2008
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
This Is Why I Teach
Dear Confusia,
This morning during my advisory class I was talking to a table of girls. One of the girls was telling me that she had to stay up really late last night doing housework and junk and that she was really tired and that her mom yelled at her for not getting the dishes done and so forth. Then she says, "I think my mom has that thing that women get when they get old." And I asked, "Oh, do you mean menopause?" And she says, "Yeah, that's it. It makes her all grumpy and mean." Well, another girl says, "Oh well then I think my dad must have menopause too." I laughed so hard I had tears rolling down my cheeks." Priceless!
How are you today?
Love ya,
Terps
ha ha, I know a LOT of people who have menopause. Speaking of, when Confusia Jr. was 4 years old, I took her to the library one day to check out books and movies. Well, we were looking at the videos together, and she pulls one off the shelf and hands it to me. I look at it, and it's called, "Menopause: What You Need to Know." I guess she thought the cover of it was fascinating or something. ha ha I still tease her about that sometimes. You'd think she'd need to know about getting her period before she'd need to know about getting rid of it...but to each her own.
I'm doing better today. I have good days and bad. I didn't get into a huge emotional deal with Mr. Confusia last night, so today is a better day. I did have another weird dream, though. This one was about vampires of the Gary Oldman/Bram Stoker variety. They were trying to convert me into a vampire, and make me bear their vampire young. What do you suppose that means??
In other news, on my way to work this morning, a black cat crossed in front of my car. Then it looked up, saw that it was me, and crossed back again just to make good and sure he'd cursed me properly. Thanks alot, you stupid cat. Do you think it undid the bad luck by crossing back to where it started from, or do you think it doubled the bad luck? ha ha I really don't believe in that, but I thought it was funny that it crossed my path TWICE!
Well, none of the baby bunnies made it. I think they were just too young. We do have a BIG rabbit now, though. His name is Cotton. We got it from one of the math teachers here. He's a big white rabbit with grey ears, and a grey nose who likes to be scratched on his chin. So I came up with a plan for us to make extra money in the summer. We're going to take Cotton, and your pet cow on the road! That's right. We're going to have a travelling farm show! We just need to acquire some chickens now. We'll get some matching overalls and straw hats. How does that sound? Farmer Terps and Farmer Confusia. We'll make the kids clean up all the poo. :)
Okay, so after work yesterday, I decide to take the kids to the park. I figure this will help take my mind off my problems, and it will also get us out of the house in case Mr. Confusia stops by. I thought it wouldn't do him any harm to sit and wonder where we were instead of the other way around. I didn't know if he would stop by, but just in case...you know? We were gone until about 7:50, when we need to get home in order for the kids to be in bed at 8:30. We were home about twenty minutes and Mr. C shows up. Coming by to "see the kids" etc. Eventually, I get the kids down, but he doesn't leave. He thought we could "talk about some things." Well, here's how I feel about this...He's coming home all the time because he wants to. I think he gets bored and lonely, and misses us. Then he comes over, and somehow ends up staying so late that we fall asleep, which is what happened last night. This is absolutely ridiculous. Except for Sunday, he's being a better husband and father now than he was being before he "moved out". So what the hell is this all about??? I want to plan on being out of the house as much as possible this week, but if he knows the kids' bedtime is at 8:30, then I have the feeling he'll just wait until then to show up. Should I just let him think he's "moved out", and then sit back and enjoy the benefits of a better husband for me and father for the kids? Trust me not to be able to have a freakin' normal marriage. He even volunteered to watch all three kids this weekend so I could go out! He's never done that in all the time we've been together. It's like he has this crazy mindset that he's now "choosing" to be there instead of "having" to be there, and it seems to be making the difference for him. Anyway...CRAZY. blah, blah, blah. Nothing of a sexual nature happened last night. I won't allow it anymore. Not until something is resolved one way or the other. Ah, Mi VIDA LOCA!
Seriously, think over the "On the Road With Farmer Terps and Confusia" idea. I'm seeing big money from that...ha ha
-Confusia
BTW: Today on List of the Day, the mugshot is DEFINITELY Adam Duritz. I think.
First off, Cary doesn't know the kind of danger he's put himself in with talking shit about Duritz, you do. So mind yourself lest you should find a jail-made blade broken off in your gut. Alright, I know. I've actually gotten quite fond of Duritz as of late. Been listening to Cugust and Everything After quite a bit. However, you need not make threats. He is still yours. The thing with the mugshot was just too perfect because of the hair and the flabby neck...WHICH I can say because as earlier posted, I have begun to share in the affliction. Just like I can say Adrien Brody has a big nose. If YOU started talking about flabby necks and big noses, it wouldn't be kosher, though since you have neither. Which is why you suck..ha ha
As for your dream, I can only assume that since you have spent the better part of your life wanting to be a breeder for the Aryan Nation, in your convuluted subconscience you accidentally confused skinhead with vampire. Don't be too hard on yourself. It was an honest mistake. Now, now. You're going to cause people to really believe this was my life's ambition. I mean, we both know it is, but I figured it would be left between the two of us...ha ha Actually, yes, it was a very freaky dream because the vampire eggs were implanted in my boobs. Grody.
And it just so happens that my farmer friend who allows Jet, my pet cow, to live on her property has about 7 chickens running around. Sweet. We're good to go. Please pick up your overalls by June 6. Look out world! She also has 4 goats, 3 jackasses,yeah, but can they out-jackass us when we're drunk?? a bull, I'll let you be the bull handler. and a Shetland pony, but being as the pony has a, how would you say, biting problem, I wouldn't reccommend her for a travelling show. I would, however, have you consider the possibility of using her in class for a kind of interactive show and tell. Just a thought. DAmn, why didn't you already tell me about this pony? Such a good idea! I actually have a pony who lives next door to me who is "teething". Perhaps I could use her. I'll ask Confusia Jr. if the bites she gives are good and hard. She got to experience one last summer. I don't think she liked it.
Maybe for now you should just keep on keeping on with the Mr. Confusia situation, especially if you think you can get him to babysit the kids the weekend I come to town... Don't think I hadn't already considered this...ha ha
Gotta run! Why? Are the wild dogs after you?
This morning during my advisory class I was talking to a table of girls. One of the girls was telling me that she had to stay up really late last night doing housework and junk and that she was really tired and that her mom yelled at her for not getting the dishes done and so forth. Then she says, "I think my mom has that thing that women get when they get old." And I asked, "Oh, do you mean menopause?" And she says, "Yeah, that's it. It makes her all grumpy and mean." Well, another girl says, "Oh well then I think my dad must have menopause too." I laughed so hard I had tears rolling down my cheeks." Priceless!
How are you today?
Love ya,
Terps
ha ha, I know a LOT of people who have menopause. Speaking of, when Confusia Jr. was 4 years old, I took her to the library one day to check out books and movies. Well, we were looking at the videos together, and she pulls one off the shelf and hands it to me. I look at it, and it's called, "Menopause: What You Need to Know." I guess she thought the cover of it was fascinating or something. ha ha I still tease her about that sometimes. You'd think she'd need to know about getting her period before she'd need to know about getting rid of it...but to each her own.
I'm doing better today. I have good days and bad. I didn't get into a huge emotional deal with Mr. Confusia last night, so today is a better day. I did have another weird dream, though. This one was about vampires of the Gary Oldman/Bram Stoker variety. They were trying to convert me into a vampire, and make me bear their vampire young. What do you suppose that means??
In other news, on my way to work this morning, a black cat crossed in front of my car. Then it looked up, saw that it was me, and crossed back again just to make good and sure he'd cursed me properly. Thanks alot, you stupid cat. Do you think it undid the bad luck by crossing back to where it started from, or do you think it doubled the bad luck? ha ha I really don't believe in that, but I thought it was funny that it crossed my path TWICE!
Well, none of the baby bunnies made it. I think they were just too young. We do have a BIG rabbit now, though. His name is Cotton. We got it from one of the math teachers here. He's a big white rabbit with grey ears, and a grey nose who likes to be scratched on his chin. So I came up with a plan for us to make extra money in the summer. We're going to take Cotton, and your pet cow on the road! That's right. We're going to have a travelling farm show! We just need to acquire some chickens now. We'll get some matching overalls and straw hats. How does that sound? Farmer Terps and Farmer Confusia. We'll make the kids clean up all the poo. :)
Okay, so after work yesterday, I decide to take the kids to the park. I figure this will help take my mind off my problems, and it will also get us out of the house in case Mr. Confusia stops by. I thought it wouldn't do him any harm to sit and wonder where we were instead of the other way around. I didn't know if he would stop by, but just in case...you know? We were gone until about 7:50, when we need to get home in order for the kids to be in bed at 8:30. We were home about twenty minutes and Mr. C shows up. Coming by to "see the kids" etc. Eventually, I get the kids down, but he doesn't leave. He thought we could "talk about some things." Well, here's how I feel about this...He's coming home all the time because he wants to. I think he gets bored and lonely, and misses us. Then he comes over, and somehow ends up staying so late that we fall asleep, which is what happened last night. This is absolutely ridiculous. Except for Sunday, he's being a better husband and father now than he was being before he "moved out". So what the hell is this all about??? I want to plan on being out of the house as much as possible this week, but if he knows the kids' bedtime is at 8:30, then I have the feeling he'll just wait until then to show up. Should I just let him think he's "moved out", and then sit back and enjoy the benefits of a better husband for me and father for the kids? Trust me not to be able to have a freakin' normal marriage. He even volunteered to watch all three kids this weekend so I could go out! He's never done that in all the time we've been together. It's like he has this crazy mindset that he's now "choosing" to be there instead of "having" to be there, and it seems to be making the difference for him. Anyway...CRAZY. blah, blah, blah. Nothing of a sexual nature happened last night. I won't allow it anymore. Not until something is resolved one way or the other. Ah, Mi VIDA LOCA!
Seriously, think over the "On the Road With Farmer Terps and Confusia" idea. I'm seeing big money from that...ha ha
-Confusia
BTW: Today on List of the Day, the mugshot is DEFINITELY Adam Duritz. I think.
First off, Cary doesn't know the kind of danger he's put himself in with talking shit about Duritz, you do. So mind yourself lest you should find a jail-made blade broken off in your gut. Alright, I know. I've actually gotten quite fond of Duritz as of late. Been listening to Cugust and Everything After quite a bit. However, you need not make threats. He is still yours. The thing with the mugshot was just too perfect because of the hair and the flabby neck...WHICH I can say because as earlier posted, I have begun to share in the affliction. Just like I can say Adrien Brody has a big nose. If YOU started talking about flabby necks and big noses, it wouldn't be kosher, though since you have neither. Which is why you suck..ha ha
As for your dream, I can only assume that since you have spent the better part of your life wanting to be a breeder for the Aryan Nation, in your convuluted subconscience you accidentally confused skinhead with vampire. Don't be too hard on yourself. It was an honest mistake. Now, now. You're going to cause people to really believe this was my life's ambition. I mean, we both know it is, but I figured it would be left between the two of us...ha ha Actually, yes, it was a very freaky dream because the vampire eggs were implanted in my boobs. Grody.
And it just so happens that my farmer friend who allows Jet, my pet cow, to live on her property has about 7 chickens running around. Sweet. We're good to go. Please pick up your overalls by June 6. Look out world! She also has 4 goats, 3 jackasses,yeah, but can they out-jackass us when we're drunk?? a bull, I'll let you be the bull handler. and a Shetland pony, but being as the pony has a, how would you say, biting problem, I wouldn't reccommend her for a travelling show. I would, however, have you consider the possibility of using her in class for a kind of interactive show and tell. Just a thought. DAmn, why didn't you already tell me about this pony? Such a good idea! I actually have a pony who lives next door to me who is "teething". Perhaps I could use her. I'll ask Confusia Jr. if the bites she gives are good and hard. She got to experience one last summer. I don't think she liked it.
Maybe for now you should just keep on keeping on with the Mr. Confusia situation, especially if you think you can get him to babysit the kids the weekend I come to town... Don't think I hadn't already considered this...ha ha
Gotta run! Why? Are the wild dogs after you?
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