FREE AT LAST!!! FREE AT LAST!!!

Dear Terps,
I AM DIVORCED!!!
Love, Confusia

Confusia Checking In

Dear Terps,
Well, another school year has begun, and I'm already looking forward to the last day of school! ha ha My feet hurt so bad from yesterday that I wish I could unscrew them and hang them in my closet until they feel better.
As for summertime updates...
Tubes cut and burned last Monday. I have been sterile for a week now, and it feels SUPER! No more worrying about any reproductive superpowers! The surgery went very well, and was one of my favorite days of the summer. There I was, completely drugged up and lying in bed all day. AWESOME! I'm not saying I'd want to do that every day, but as my step-brother said, it was a nice chemical vacation. As you know from the txt I sent you while under the influence,(tb burn ctt, mmo nop jjids mmow) I was very relaxed.
Also, my divorce will be final in two days!!! I will be single again, legally, and free of Mr. Confusia's sh++ forever! YAY. Don't worry, I'll have a margarita for you, too!
I have been accepted into Texas Woman's U, and will once again be working on my degree, which I will finish in no more than three years, though possibly in two if I work fantastically hard.
Still seeing my friend, who is a complete delight. I think it's been about 8 months now. He's amazing, and wonderful, and I adore him. I have such fun with him. :)
So that's about it for me. All good news for a change. Well, there is one bad thing, and I don't know if I can cope. List of the Day is blocked now, and I can't get to it. I'm telling you, the Man is cruel!!! So, if Cary ever checks in here, I hope he knows that I will fix my dilemna as soon as possible.
How is your year going so far? I hope it's awesome! Plus, I need you to start having man troubles again...(think tattoo guy, heart in a box guy, etc.) ha ha Reading your hilarious takes on it all makes the day better. :) Though, I still hold out some kind of strange hope for you and that guy in California, and you know who I mean. That was quite a match!
Love you, Confusia

Confusia Seen With Goofy Smile On Face

Dear Terps,
Isn't it strange that even in the midst of a personal struggle in life, there can be elements that are completely wonderful? I am amazed that at a time when I could be feeling really down, there are moments when I am indeed very grateful to be alive, and even happy. Life can be mysterious. That's not to say that I'm jumping up and down every minute of the day. I'm not. Today, though, I just keep smiling. :) :) :)
Love, Confusia

Is It Really Happening?

Dearest Confusia,
Could it be? Is it true? Has the last day of school finally arrived?
Sweetness!
Love, Terps
Dear Terps,
WHAAAATTT?????
No fair! I want this to be my last day of school, too!
Love, Confusia

Dear Terps,
I have officially filed for divorce. 61 days, and it will all be over.
Love, Confusia

And Time Stood Still

Dear Confusia,
I can't figure out which is worse, that this is only Wednesday (and Monday was a holiday) or that it's only 9:45. Either way, time is DRAGGING. I guess I should be happy that there are only 6 days of school left (5 if we don't count today), but when the clock seems to be stuck, it doesn't really matter, right?
Actually, if I think about everything I have to accomplish between now and next Wednesday, I might start to cry. We have the following to get through: college research presentations, diversity workshops, Shakespearean dress rehearsals and performances, mythology projects, film viewing of Speak, talent show, Fiest Texas field trip, kayaking field trip, year book signing, teachers vs. students dodgeball tournament, advisory kickball tournament, curriculum binders for ALL THREE PREPS! ARGH!!!!!
How is it going over there?
Love, Terps
Dear Terps,
Remind me never to work there. Why have they packed so much into so few days? They couldn't have spread it out a little? That doesn't make much sense.
Nothing much happening here. Several months ago I sent all the paperwork off to the divorce attorney, but I still hadn't heard back from him. I'm tired of waiting on him, so I just finished all the paperwork myself and am filing all on my own! That's how you get a free divorce! Good thinking, huh? So all I have to do now is turn that stuff in downtown (tomorrow! bright and early!!!!) , and wait 61 days or less, and then I will no longer be a separatee...I will be a divorcee. Couldn't happen too soon. Shall we plan a party, perhaps? A little karaoke madness? Actually, I don't care if I'm the only one there, and the party involves me relaxing on the couch with a good book, it will still be considered a party! ha ha
So as far as Rachel's wedding goes...Do you think it would be in bad taste to get her a divorce gift certificate? Honestly, I can give her my card with one free divorce included because I'm practically an expert now. I think it would be a very practical gift. If she doesn't need it, that's great, but she'll have the protection of knowing it's there. ha ha
No, no, no. I'm kidding. Despite it all, I still think marriage can be a really wonderful thing, but you just have to be really careful about who you do it with...ha ha
Love, Confusia
Dear Confusia,
Why have they packed so much in the last week? Well, that's probably because we've been preparing for TAKS and finals up until now. We haven't had any free time. When you have kids taking 5 different TAKS tests and no teachers want to give up a second of class time because of that, you find yourself with a shit ton of activities to do in the last week of school. Oh, when I was giving my list of everything that has to be done, I forgot to mention the cotillion this weekend. Oh goodie!
So, as for your divorce, congratulations! I remember mine well. I remember it was scheduled at 9:00 (first thing on the court docket). I left from there to go get him off my insurance at work. I then went to get a new social security card without THAT last name on it. And I rounded out the day by getting a new driver's license. It was the best day of my life! I'm all for a party, but would need to know when and where and hope that I can be around for it!
Oh God! They're back...
Love, Terps

Rough Weekend: Thankful for the Extra Recovery Day

Dear Confusia,
Here's hoping this finds you well. I hope you had a smashingly good Memorial Day and enjoyed your long weekend. I did not.
Christina's birthday was last Tuesday. Well, as we all had to work on Wednesday, we decided that we would just wait until Saturday to celebrate. And celebrate we did. We celebrated SO much that I spent most of Sunday promising that I would NEVER celebrate anything ever again. I have no idea what exactly happened, but I was sicker than a dog. I know I had a few shots, but really, it did not seem like anything out of the ordinary. However, once I got home Saturday night/Sunday morning, my bathroom became a vomitorium. I threw up so much that I thought I HAD to be puking up internal organs (my OLD diet plan, getting rid of pesky internal organs). If that wasn't enough, when I was finally able to drag my miserably sore and unwell body out of bed later Sunday morning, it became RetchFest 2009. At this point, there was no substance coming out, just a constant gagging (great for the abs, by the way). At about 1:00, I managed to eat about half of a Luna Bar. At 1:20, I (remarkably) managed to throw up an entire Luna Bar (who knows how???). After that I decided the only thing I could do was go back to bed. I literally crawled to my bed, trailed by Rhoda and Bowie (they thought this was the best game ever). I had no sooner hoisted myself into bed before the metalic taste of upcoming upchuck flooded my mouth. I threw myself toward the bathroom door just in time to splatter bile all over my closed toilet lid. (Why oh why had I closed it? How silly was I to have thought the whole ordeal could be over???) I then continued to vomit up bile for what seemed like hours but was maybe ten minutes. I do not know if you have much experience in the bile puking department, but it is unpleasant. As I don't have a gall bladder to store my bile, I have had the bile vomitting experience numerous times, and it never gets better. After that, I crawled back to bed where I simply asked the powers that be to kindly kill me. Clearly they did not. After a two-hour nap, I woke up somewhat better but not good by any stretch. It was not until Monday morning that I actually did feel on the verge of death. Thankfully, I had Monday to recover. So, all in all, my weekend sucked nuts. Do tell me all about yours!
Love, Terps
Dear Terps,
Um, well...mine wasn't as bad as yours, nope. What on earth did you drink that caused all of this? did you drink on an empty stomach, because that's what usually makes me end up over the toilet after drinking. That hasn't happened to me in over a year, though, so that's good. Maybe you had a stomach virus simultaneously. what you are describing sounds like my experience last March. Bad stomach virus, night of endless vomiting, ER visit complete with IV full of liquids, anti-vomit medicine, and morphine, on a plane with three kids three hours later on my way to New Jersey to be Bridesmaid for sister. I will never forget that because it was one of the most difficult, strenuous things I've had to do, ever. There have been a few times in my life when I've been amazed to discover the amount of strength I possess. This was one of those occasions. It doesn't sound all that big a deal, but navigating an airport with three kids when you feel like complete death? I just wanted to cry and give up. It started on a Wed. night, and I didn't wake up feeling human until Saturday morning. I bet that's what happened. Virus. I'm glad you're feeling better now, though.
I didn't do much Saturday or Sunday. I worked on my garden, did a million loads of laundry, cleaned house, read some books, played with the baby. Monday, my friend invited me out to lunch and a movie. So we played grand theft auto two, and he killed me about a million times. Then, we went to see Terminator Salvation. He's so wonderful. There are so many things about him that I respect and admire. Sigh... :)
After I left his apartment, I picked up the kids, and took them swimming for a short while. We got to the pool, and had been there for five minutes when Isaac tells me he has to go to the bathroom. So that kind of cut the swim time short. The water was quite cold, but I managed to get in the pool anyway. The baby was in heaven. I had to keep lifting her up because she was trying to stick her whole head in the water. she's ready to go!
Anyway, now back at work. Terrific. I can't believe first period just ended. ????????? that only took five hours. Why is time passing so slowly???
Love, Confusia